Page 18 of Lips of an Angel

I withdrew my fingers and reached for the toy. Did I have the right person in mind when I’d bought it? No, but I didn’t want to think about that right now. Right now, I wanted to come—with the wrong name on my lips. The forbidden nature of it all made it even hotter.

I’d feel guilty about it later.

Over the years, I’d had countless daydreams about getting Raleigh’s cock inside me one way or the other. It just so happened that this option was purple, battery-operated, and had three different settings. Granted, it was missing a few things compared to Raleigh, but my imagination filled in the gaps.

The wide head of the dildo notched against my hole. My cock threatened to erupt before I got started so I squeezed the base of it, stemming my orgasm.

No, not yet.

I reminded myself to breathe as I pushed in, welcoming the burn that came from being stretched. I’d never stop wondering what the real thing would feel like, if the sting would be nearly as satisfying. I stroked my shaft faster, using the pleasure to distract myself from the discomfort. Inch by inch the toy filled me up. Only when it was buried as deep as it would go was I able to relax, somewhat. Feeling around for the button, I switched it on and in the privacy of the empty apartment, I moaned. Again when the toy shifted, bumping against my prostate. My hips jerked, pushing my cock through my fist. Blood rushed through my veins, my heartbeat pulsing in my ears.

The knot in my stomach tightened, and the base of my spine started to tingle. I picked up the pace. I thrust into my fist, then rocked back onto the toy. Pathetic whines and whimpers left my lips, but I didn’t care. I was so close! My hands could barely keep up with the demands of my body.

In my fantasies, Raleigh would usually tell me how good I was for him, would coach me through my climax and hold me through the aftershocks, often with his lips on various parts of my body.

Oh, fuck.

My cock swelled, spurting thick white ropes of come over my chest and stomach, coating my fingers. I cried out so loudly that the sound echoed off the walls. Despite knowing I was alone, a flush crept up my cheeks. I looked down my body at the evidence of what I’d done. Heat swept over my face, shame settling in. Wincing, I pulled the vibrator out of my ass and set it aside to be cleaned. I stowed the lube, then grabbed some tissues from my nightstand and wiped myself up. My heart still thudded in my ears. It wasn’t the first time I’d gotten off to Raleigh instead of my boyfriend, but the guilt never failed to eat me up afterward.

The worst part of it all? I was already thinking about when I could do it again.

* * *

Raleigh didn’t get backfrom his super-secret mission in time to open the bar, so Ryder showed up in his place.

Ryder was so much more than a bartender to us—he was one of our closest friends. I was a man of very few words, but I hoped that he knew that.

When he showed up to help, I could immediately tell that he was hiding something.

Ryder and Raleigh were similar in many ways, but especially in the way they thought they could keep a secret until they were blue in the face. It had taken years to learn to read Raleigh, but once I knew his tells, it wasn’t hard to see them on Ryder. And there was definitely something he wasn’t saying.

Of course, he plastered on that classic Ryder Clark grin and charmed the pants off of damn near everything that moved, just as he always had. But I’d bet money that he didn’t know I’d catch him watching me. Or that he’d be lingering too close when I turned around. Nearby, but never close enough for it to look suspicious.

I let him do it. No doubt Raleigh had asked him to keep an eye on me. I don’t think Raleigh had ever been farther away from me than the other side of town since the day we met. We grew up on the same street and attended the same schools, even went to the same college when the time came. Haunted by memories of the accident, we decided we needed a change of pace and moved to Vegas together. After visiting for my twenty-first birthday, our minds were made up by the end of our very first night.

The bar was our baby. Which was why it was strange for Raleigh to be missing as much work as he was. This scandal with Kali was really eating him up.

I meant what I’d told him: I’d never seen him so devastated after a breakup. Then again, I’d never seen Raleigh in a serious relationship. He had assured me that Kali was nothing more than a regular fling, and I’d never had any reason to doubt him. Sure, I teased him about her, but I didn’t know her; I’d only met her briefly the couple of times she came into the bar. I remembered thinking that her pressed, polished appearance made her stand out against the alternative crowd that tended to frequent the Hopyard.

It was the end of the night, and Jack and I stayed behind to clean up, letting Ryder go home. I was working up the nerve to tell Jack his shorts were entirely too short when the lock clicked at the front door. Every hair on my body stood on end, but I let out a sigh of relief when Raleigh stepped through the door. Before I could sign anything, he gave me a soft smile and held up a bottle of tequila in his hand. He motioned toward the stairs and I nodded, agreeing that I’d meet him there as soon as we were finished. I watched Raleigh go, keeping an eye on him until he disappeared up the stairs to the apartment.

Jack was more observant than I gave him credit for. “Go,” he told me.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “It’s just the trash left. I can handle it.”

“Call if you need anything.”

I finished what I was doing and ascended the stairs, stripping off my jacket as I went. Between the rising temps during the day and the sweaty bodies that packed the bar at night, I was melting. But sometimes my jacket provided a sense of comfort, a way to keep myself hidden. After my acts that morning, it was one of those days.

My marks tickled my skin, itching to be relaxed for the night. Sorry guys, not now.

Raleigh needed me.

The door to our apartment opened into the kitchen, and that’s where I found Raleigh, on the floor, with one long leg extended in front of him. He had the other bent at the knee, resting his tattooed arm on it. He didn’t look up at first, and I considered taking a moment to admire him. Then my stomach flipped and I thought better of it. One fantasy a day was plenty for my unrequited crush.

I shut the door behind me, and that’s when he finally looked at me, his eyes glossy. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen him cry, and every time my powers stirred beneath my skin. The need to comfort him was like some primal urge I couldn’t tamp down. It didn’t matter how silly the situation was, I’d die before seeing my best friend—the one true love of my life—uncomfortable.

---