Page 55 of Lips of an Angel

My heart stuttered, and I grasped my chest before collecting myself. “Talk about what?”

Eli collapsed onto the bed, putting his head in his hands. When I heard sniffling, I reached for him, but he shrugged my hand away the moment it landed on his shoulder.

With a deep breath, he lifted his head to look at me, eyes wet. “You don’t want this wedding, do you?” I hesitated, and it must’ve been a moment too long because Eli squared his shoulders and met my gaze with a determined, if red-rimmed, stare. “You’ve been letting me take over from the moment you said yes. At first, I thought it was because you were nervous. I know I sprung the fellowship on you, and that’s my own fault. I was more than happy to pick up the slack, but the closer we got, the more I felt like your heart’s not in this.”

“A lot of people get cold feet before their wedding,” I signed, though not with much fight.

Eli laughed, a broken sound that punched me in the heart. “Can’t we be honest with each other for once? This is more than cold feet, isn’t it, Angel?”

With nothing to say, I sat back and placed my hands in my lap.

Eli nervously tugged at his fingers. “I thought we could get past whatever this was, but I can feel you pulling away from me more and more. Especially after Raleigh’s incident last week. You’ve spent more time with him in the week leading to our wedding than you have with me. I started to put the pieces together, everything that’s been right in front of me for the last decade that I was too naive to see. You love him, don’t you?”

Feeling sick, I nodded.

“I should have seen it sooner. Looking back on it, maybe I did.” Eli shrugged. “But I thought since you chose me, it didn’t matter. But Angel, I can’t bring you into a marriage you don’t want.”

I was quick to respond to that. “Idolove you.”

He took my hands, clasping them between his. It shut me up, but for once, I didn’t mind. He was letting me go.

“I don’t doubt that,” he said, “but settling for me isn’t going to make your feelings for Raleigh go away. You’ve been running from them for over fifteen years. How well has that worked for you?”

Since he’d trapped my only form of communication, I could only manage a weak smile. But he knew me, so he knew what I was trying to say.

It hadn’t worked at all. If anything, my feelings for Raleigh had only grown.

Eli took another deep breath and scrubbed the back of his neck. “I know that something happened between the two of you.” Before I could say anything, he continued, “It wasn’t hard to figure it out. You may be covered in ink, but don’t think I haven’t learned to tell when there’s something new on your body. The day you came to see me at the hospital, there was a mark on your neck. Knowing where you went after we parted ways that night, I figured it out. But you said yes to me, so I didn’t think it mattered.”

I tugged my hands free. “So, what now? What’s next for… us?”

“I’mgoing to Seattle,” Eli said with conviction. “That’s not changing.”

I waited, then signed, “But…”

His shining eyes welled with tears again, and when he spoke, his voice trembled. “I’m going alone.”

Despite the tightness in my chest, I finally felt… relief. I was sad that such a long relationship was ending in such a way, but I should have known that it would never last. Eli was right. I couldn’t just shove my feelings for Raleigh away. They hadn’t faded since the day we met, and I was foolish to think they ever would.

“What about the wedding?” I asked. “All those people? All the money we’ve put into it.”

With a sniffle of his own, Eli brushed away a stray tear that escaped and slid down my cheek. “Luckily for you, I kept the guest list small. I’ll handle it. As for the money?” Another shrug. “We’ll figure it out.”

The hand in my hair curled around my cheek. I leaned into his touch. “The day Raleigh wakes his ass up is the day you’ll make him the happiest man alive.”

“You’re going to make an amazing husband someday—the kind of husband I don’t deserve,” I told him.

He smiled. “Damn straight I will.” I made a move to get off the bed, but Eli rose to his feet first. “Why don’t you stay here for a while? I have an errand to run. It’ll buy you some time alone before you head home.”

I let out a breath, relieved. Even now, Eli knew me better than most. Some people might think I spent enough time alone with my thoughts, but sometimes it was what I needed. Right now, I needed to corral my emotions, which were running around like headless chickens.

When I told Raleigh I was hopelessly in love with him, I didn’t need to be all over the place.

“Angel?” I glanced up. Eli stood in the doorway, one hand on the knob and the other picking at a spot of chipped paint on the wall. “Raleigh. Is he, uh… like you?” He gestured to my crotch, and it took me a moment to realize he was referring to my piercing.

I snickered, remembering my “stairway to heaven” joke. “More,” I signed. “Jacob’s Ladder.”

Eli squirmed and shuddered, cupping his dick protectively like I’d lunge across the room and pierce him myself. “I’ll never understand the obsession you two have with mutilating your bodies.”

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