“I say again: yes. He needs me.”
Billie collapsed onto the bed, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like, “Heneedsto grow the fuck up.”
“What was that?” I tugged on my shirt and went to work on my socks.
“He’s almost thirty years old. I think he can handle spending a night by himself.”
“He’s my best friend.” I tugged on my boots, already moving for the door.
Their voice made me freeze with my hand on the doorknob. “It’s him or me, Raleigh.”
I turned, furrowing my brow. “You really don’t want me to make that decision.”
Billie had covered themself with the gray bed sheet, the fabric draping over smooth, pale skin. In response to my question, they simply shrugged.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Let’s get a couple things straight, Billie. This—” I gestured between us, “—is a fling. We arenotin a relationship. I thought you understood that. Angel has been a part of my life for almost as long as I can remember. He willalwayscome first. Anyone who asks me to make that choice is not someone I want in my life.” I spun for the door again.
“Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make? Fair warning, I don’t take rejection lightly.”
“What are you going to do? Please, enlighten me.”
Their eyes darkened, and a shiver shot down my spine. Ignoring it, I awaited their answer. “If you walk out that door, you’re going to find out.”
I scoffed, grabbing the knob and letting the bedroom door slam behind me after I left.
I rushed home, my long legs easily eating up the distance between me and my best friend. By the time I let myself into the back entrance of the building, Billie was the last thing on my mind. I took a brief detour to snag a bottle of tequila from the bar. I’d replace it tomorrow.
When I unlocked our apartment door, I was unsurprised to find Angel sitting on the kitchen floor waiting for me.
“What happened?” I asked, kicking the door shut and placing the bottle in his outstretched hand.
His phone chimed. He glanced down at the screen, then flipped it face down onto the tile without responding to the text. Only one person would’ve been texting him at this time of night. I looked to the phone then back to where his lips sealed around the bottle. Some emotion tugged at my chest, but I ignored it in favor of sitting next to him and taking the booze when it was offered. As the tequila burned down my throat and erased Billie’s memories, Angel tapped me on the shoulder. “Did I take you away from something?”
His blue eyes shone even in the dim light. Bright, electric blue—the color of the summer sky above us as we ran the desolate, dirt roads of our hometown. Even then, well before the accident, we both itched to get out. Countless days were spent lying in a field somewhere, staring into that sky and contemplating where we’d end up. I had always loved the color of his eyes: the way they sparkled when he laughed, and how they narrowed when he called me on my bullshit without saying a word.
But I also recounted the exact moment those eyes changed. They were still the same vibrant blue they’d always been, but now, sitting there in the kitchen, there was a darkness to them that not everyone saw. Shadows that hadn’t always been there, ones that killed me to see. That, right there, was the reason I knew he needed me. If I could be the one to chase away at least one of those shadows, then damn it, I was going to do it.
Angel snapped in front of my face, pulling me out of my thoughts. I thought over his question, using my tongue to toy with one of my lip piercings. “Nothing important,” I finally responded, handing the bottle back to him.
He searched my face for any hint of a lie, but he didn’t find one. I meant it: Nothing would ever be more important to me than supportinghim.Angel kept his gaze on mine as he tipped the bottle up again.
“Where’d you disappear to the last few nights? I’ve hardly seen you in days.”
“Eli’s. Thought I’d give you and Billie some space.”
“Billie?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”
“After bringing them around a couple of nights in a row?—”
“A couple of nights?” I interrupted, frowning. “I only brought them over once.”
He paused. “What about the other night? After they got kicked out?”
The grin that curled the corner of my mouth was entirely involuntary. “No, no,” I laughed, shaking my head, “that was the cute brunette who caused Billie’s outburst.”
Angel just stared at me. “Are you in heat or something? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing!” I plucked the bottle with comical ease as he tried to hold it out of reach. “There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable in my sexuality.”