Page 101 of The Wishing Game

There's something that looks oddly like rice, and I put a spoonful of it on my plate. Next, there are some oddly shaped vegetables that are more colorful than any I've seen in my world. More options of grain-like foods that look familiar but strange at the same time. I get a spoonful of each on my plate so I can try all of them. When I get to the meat, there are five rows of different types. There's no name to suggest what animal the meat could be from, and though it looks thoroughly cooked and quite appetizing, I can't risk it—not after seeing what happened to Thea and Ze. Even the other foods are a risk, but I'm starving, so I'll have to pray I won't get sick from it.

After I fill my plate with food, I get to the dessert station and see some dark squares that look like chocolate, along with some weird-looking fruits. Since I won't be able to carry two plates with me, I scoot the food to the side and add a couple of those squares, my mouth already watering at the thought of eating something sweet.

Last in line is the drink station. There are five jugs placed one next to another and wooden cups next to them. I sniff each jug, deciding to go with the one without scent. I pour a little into the cup at first, take a sip, and nod to myself. Water. Okay, that's good, now I can get more.

When I'm finally done, I leave, intent on going to the back where I saw some empty tables.

It seems that although there are no seats to eat inside, everyone is having their meal outside. I take a seat at the farthest table, not wanting to draw even more attention to myself.

Once I'm comfortable, I hesitantly start tasting the food. To my surprise, everything tastes fantastic—not too different from the food in my world. As I get to the dessert, I'm surprised to see that the dark squares taste just like chocolate, but this is much sweeter and buttery.

"Oh my God." I release a soft moan as I close my eyes. This is just fabulous. I don't think I've ever eaten better chocolate in my life. Now I know for sure what I'm going to be stocking up on from the cafeteria—and hey, it's a good source of energy, and I'll likely be needing a lot of that in the future.

I'm soon finished and I can't resist the urge to go in again to get a few more pieces of chocolate. I take a fistful of chocolate and make my way out, going toward a pretty garden I noticed at the edge of the complex. Despite its restricted area, there seems to be everything one might need here.

Finding a small nook next to some yellow flowers, I take a seat on the grass. The many plants and flowers offer me an advantage as I'm not as easily noticeable. This way, I won't need to withstand all the odd glances coming my way from the other teams.

I bite into a chocolate square, and despite it being utterly delicious, a sigh escapes my lips as I wish my Nikki were here to enjoy this too.

"You'd like this," I whisper, taking another bite. "I bet I could make you the best cake with it. It would be so creamy and sweet..."

My voice trails off as I realize how silly I am, talking by myself to an imaginary version of my husband—and it's not even his ghost.

I release a weary breath as I bring my knees to my chest, hugging myself. For the last few weeks, I've managed to keep myself together and focus on one goal at a time. Yet there are brief moments when my confidence falters and grief swallows me whole.

"It's fine," I tell myself in a low, pained voice. Shivers erupt all over the surface of my skin, coldness penetrating my bones despite the warmth outside. "I'll be fine. I'll win..."

Yet the truth is that I'm not fine. I'm the furthest away from fine. I've just done a damn good job of burying everything so deep within myself that at some point I've managed to convince myself that maybe Icouldbe fine.

All along, I've been living a lie.

And this one bite of chocolate was enough to remind me of everything I lost. Of those stolen moments together where not even my deepest fears could get to me because I had him.

I press my lips together as tears stab at the back of my eyes.

"I need to be strong," I whisper as I swallow against the sudden wave of grief that strikes me in the breast. I allow myself a few moments to wallow in my pain before I put myself together. The only way I can win this is if I keep a level head.

I breathe in and out, closing my eyes and trying to get a modicum of control over myself. All my life, this is what I've been best at—compartmentalizing. When things got too hard, I focused on the bright side—on the future that was yet to come. Only that way could I withstand the pain and the suffering. Because I knew better times were ahead. I may have been hopeless at times, but I've always been an optimist by nature, so I harnessed that hopelessness and simply dropped theless.

If I could turn dearth into abundance, then I could prevail. So I focus on that.

Imagining all my grief, I focus on it until it turns into a tangible ball of energy. I wrap my hands around it and aim to change its meaning. Just like hope was born out of desperation, so is determination born out of grief.

My heart rate slows down as the last tendrils of heartache recede.

I slowly open my eyes, a gasp escaping me as I startle back.

A shimmery black shadow looms over me, the contour of a body clearer than it's ever been. And just as I'm about to fall on my back, a hand reaches out to stop me.

A hand that can... touch me.

"Nikki?" I croak as he pulls me back up. He's on his knees in front of me.

"Luce." His voice echoes, barely audible and distorted.

TWENTY-FOUR

"Oh my God, you can speak. You can touch me," I inhale sharply.

---