Page 64 of Silver Secrets

Yep. She’d officially never be stepping foot in there!

Her eyes drifted back to Gage, who was busy dancing around the reception area with Sage, zooming her closer to Mae and then pulling her away before Mae could snatch her up. He was such a natural with kids. The smile on his face was so big and bright that guilt washed over her in a tidal wave so overwhelming she folded in on herself.

How could she not tell him? He’d said before that being a father was the greatest gift. Gage would want that again some day. But she would never be able to give that to him. She would never want to.

Sloane grabbed her coffee mug and slipped out of the conference room, walking to the back door. She’d only been back to the small courtyard a handful of times, but it was clear Mae was trying to make it cozy. There were Adirondack chairs set in a semi circle next to planters with fresh spring flowers.

Sloane sank down into the chair, trying to ground herself. The conversation she needed to have with Gage wasn’t going to be a fun one. God, there was that nagging guilt, boiling in her stomach again. She should have said something before. When he was saying he loved her. What an idiot… leading him on. Letting him think that things could build between them. Letting herself believe that someone so good would want the same life as her?—

“Why are you out here all by yourself?” Gage’s voice from behind startled her.

“Oh! You scared me.”

“Sorry. You shouldn’t be out here alone. I almost had a heart attack when I saw you were gone from the conference room.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me out here.” Sloane waved at the brick walls surrounding them, and then to the iron spindles with sharp arrows at the top. “I just needed a bit of fresh air. Lily and Gunner were making love eyes at each other and slipped away, and I just needed a moment of quiet.”

“Ah. Yeah, those two aren’t very subtle.”

“I wouldn’t want them to be. They both deserve to live loudly in love. And you looked quite comfortable holding Sage.”

“I love that kid. She’s going to be a little hellion one day. But it’s fun to be the uncle who can wind them up and then hand them back over to their parents.”

Sloane took a long sip of water, concentrating on the way the cold slowly made its way through her body.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I guess it’s best that we talk about this now. Before things grow….”

“You and me things?”

“You called me your girlfriend before,” she whispered. “In front of all the guys.”

“I know I did.” He shrugged his shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to say those words. “Are you upset that I said that?”

“No. Lily reminded me of something, just now. I’m not being fair to you by giving you hope of a future together.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Not being fair to me would be walking away because you’re scared right now, Red.”

“That’s not it at all. It’s… The way you are with Sage, I can see you were always meant to be a dad.”

“I was a dad, Sloane. I still am in my heart.”

Her hand rested against his arm. “Of course you are. Hearing you talk about Mikey, about losing him… there’s not a doubt in my mind that you were the best dad, Gage. And you will be again. It’s so natural to you. It’s so ingrained in who you are. That’s why I won’t waste your time. I won’t give you false hope that one day this….” she gestured between their bodies. “This will ever go anywhere meaningful. I can’t ever give you that.”

“That?”

“Kids. I can’t.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I’m not running away. I told you I wouldn’t, but I forgot about what moving forward would mean to you. Saying you love me, calling me your girlfriend in front of your friends, I know you’re thinking about the future. You’ve got to let whatever this is between us, go. I’m not the right woman for you.”

He was eerily calm, nodding as his elbows came to rest on his knees, and his hand worked over the five o’clock shadow that had grown in over the day. “I’m guessing I get no say in this?”

“I don’t want kids!” she blurted out.

“Red…”

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