“From excitement,” she assured him as she sat herself up. “After Lord Mildenhall’s visit yesterday…” A forced smile. “It is no wonder I could not sleep.”
The truth behind her sleepless night was infinitely more depressing.
It might have been nice if it was caused by her tossing and her turning. Memories of when she had been on her knees with the duke’s engorged member in her mouth. Or perhaps when she had been sitting on his face, his tongue wreaking havoc with her womanhood, as she stroked and sucked him until he was exploding all over her. How she might have liked to have focused on that, rather than the other…
Truly, remembering those few moments of infinite pleasure brought her more pain than arousal. Try as she might, she simply could not fathom how the duke could be that way with her, and yet not want to be with her at the same time. Was he lying? Was he just that stubborn? Or was it as he said, that he had no true feelings for her. Certainly not as she had for him.
In the end, it made no difference. She had told him how she felt. He had denied her. And now she was set to marry Lord Mildenhall.For the best. That is what I must focus on. This was never about me, but my family.
“Ah yes,” Daniel began. “Lord Mildenhall. I was hoping to speak with you about his offer.”
“You have spoken with mother?”
“I have,” he said. “But she is not who this arrangement concerns. That is you, Aurelia.”
“Oh, well…” She forced her smile to grow as she resisted the urge to sniff back tears. “I am very happy, of course.”
“Is that so?”
She nodded quickly. “Assuming that you agree to Lord Mildenhall’s offer. I look forward to being his bride and then his wife.”
“So, you would you like that I accept?”
She hesitated, if only for a moment. “I would very much.”
That was where Aurelia expected the conversation to end. Daniel had always been the type to put expectation above happiness, prizing title and respect before personal wants and needs. He was a product of the ton, in that way, and this marriage arraignment was as standard as they came.
Strangely, Daniel frowned as he looked down at his sister. From her disheveled state to her glistening red eyes to the obvious lie he could see in her because just as she knew him well, he knew her. And then he did something even more unexpected. He sat down on the bed and rested a hand on her leg in a show of comfort.
“Mother told me what Lord Mildenhall said. That he will pay off our debts. That he expects from you an heir. You understand this?”
“I do,” she said. “It is all rather standard, is it not? And truly, Lord Mildenhall seems a kind man, one who I am sure I will grow to be very fond of. There is no reason to think differently.”
He studied her closely, the sense in his stare that he didn’t believe her. “I never told you how much I appreciated what you are doing, did I?”
Aurelia blinked. “You… you do?”
“This situation, what our father has left us with…” His lip curled and he shook his head. “It is not right. Worse than that, it is not fair. And I look at Violet and Caroline, what they were forced to go through –”
“But they are happy,” she spoke over him.
“They are,” he agreed. “Which was luck, as much as anything. It could have very easily gone the other way for them. In most instances, it would have.” His expression soured. “I have never told anyone this, but I regretted what was forced upon them both. Guilt as much as shame that they were made to suffer for our father’s sins. They did not suffer, thank God, and that they are both happy is a relief that I cannot describe. As I said, it could have just as easily been the complete opposite.”
“Daniel…” Aurelia had no idea what to say, as she had never seen her brother act so vulnerably before. She did not know he knew how.
“Yet it might be too much to hope that such luck will find our family for a third time. And where Lord Mildenhall is not a bad fellow, I am not such a fool to think that a marriage to him will result in anything other than a fulfilled obligation.” He looked at her again, both serious and regretful. “So, I ask you again, are you certain that you want this?”
Of course I don’t want this. How could I possibly? But why is he asking me this now? Is it supposed to make things easier? Because it’s having the exact opposite effect.
Aurelia was resigned to marrying Lord Mildenhall, because that was all she could do. Her family needed this and despite Daniel’s sudden showing of compassion, she knew that if she turned him down it would only bring tragedy. She had no choice…
Deep in the recesses of her mind, she wondered what might happen if she told Daniel the truth. That she had fallen in love with someone else. That the duke was who she wished for above all else. Would Daniel go to him? Would he ask the duke to court her? Even marry her? Was there a world where that might –
No. Do not go down that path.Aurelia had already told the duke how she felt and he had turned her away. Despite the passion they shared. Despite the physical attraction that flooded them when they were together. The duke did not want her. And she needed to accept this and do the only thing she could. What she had to do.
“Daniel…” She took her brother’s hand and held it, looking into his eyes so that he would see that she was telling him the truth.Or the truth he needs to hear. “Thank you for this. Truly, that you would even think to ask me…”
“You are my sister, Aurelia. I know we do not always get along but I do love you. And this family means everything to me.”