Page 57 of A Bride for the Wicked Duke

Tonight, I will go to him and find out once and for all. And after that… nothing will be the same again, for better or for worse.

* * *

It was done.

Gerald took a moment to himself, forcing a deep breath which he hoped would bring him some sense of relief. His heart was pounding. His stomach was twisted into knots. He felt sick but refused to accept the reason. The news he had just learned was to be celebrated, and where it might take him some time to accept this as such, he knew that one day he would.

I did it. It’s over. Come tomorrow morning, with the rising sun, I will finally be free to move on and concentrate on what matters.

He was in his drawing room on the bottom level of his manor, pouring himself a drink of whiskey because he needed it more than anything. One was all he would allow himself, for to indulge tonight might see his mind go places he could not allow.

The drink was, in fact, a celebration. Having just spoken with his sister, and having learned the good news, there was every reason to feel relief. Sure, he might not have felt it yet. But as he assured himself as he took a sip of the tart liquor, that feeling would hit him soon enough.

As to what was the good news that his sister had just brought him? Lady Hawkins was to be wed.Or at least she believes that is the case.

As she told it, Lord Mildenhall was set to propose to Lady Hawkins today – hours ago, by now. They had run into him yesterday whilst shopping and he had requested that he pay her a visit today. He had been nervous, Rosalind had told him. Damn petrified to ask for even a chance to pay Lady Hawkins a visit. The reason was thus obvious, as would be Lady Hawkins’ answer.

It was exactly what Gerald had needed to hear. For too long he had allowed Lady Hawkins to pray on his thoughts. For too long he had even wondered if maybe there was a good reason that she did – a reason which needed to be explored.No, my feelings for her are purely physical. That is the only reason I cannot scrub her from my mind.

The physical attraction he felt for her was simply not enough. Beyond that, there was no true future there. Not for someone of Gerald’s standing, who he was seen as by his contemporaries, and what they expected of him in return.

For a while there, Gerald had cursed what he was and the perception he’d fostered of himself among his contemporaries. How he was seen in the eyes of the ton. What they believed of him. He had convinced himself too that he liked this view they held, because that was what it meant to be a gentleman of the peerage.A shame it is all a lie.

Perhaps one day he would admit it. But that day would remain until well after his own sister found herself a husband.Yes…Gerland forced a smile and nodded his head in ascent. That was what mattered. That was why he did this. Not for himself. Not for others. But for Rosalind, she who would find happiness where he likely never would.

With that in mind, Gerald forced Lady Hawkins from his thoughts – he would never think of her again. To do so only brought confusion and excitement both; a type of hunger which could never be fully satisfied. That did him no good. Rather, he took another sip of his whiskey and set his mind to his sister.

I must find her a husband, and soon. What is more, I must convince her that I am doing so for her best interests. Which I am! Everything I do is for her, I just wished she would see it.

And then, once that unenviable task was completed, Gerald would set his sights on his own future bride. The thought of such a thing made him feel even more at pain than he already did, as he had no desire to consider such a thing. For he knew that the bride he would marry had to be one that was expected of him, a proper lady, a lady of august respect and pedigree.A bore, is what that means.

Food for thought. Worries for the future. Right now, the best thing to do was be glad that he managed to avoid any future mishaps with Lady Hawkins… or rather, that those he and her had already gotten themselves into had gone undiscovered.

The sound of a creaking floorboard coming from outside broke through Gerald’s distraction.

It was late in the evening. He was alone in his drawing room. Most of the staff should have been in bed. And the only thing he could hear was the crackling of the fire and the rustling of the trees outside from the late night wind. He frowned as he listened, wondering if he had imagined –

There it was again! Another loud creak.

“Rosalind…”

He sighed as he crossed the room, certain he would find his sister sneaking through the house. Why she was awake, he could not guess, and he just prayed she wasn’t up to no good.The way she had been acting of late, I would not be surprised.

Opening the door carefully, he was quiet as he snuck from the room and down the hall, in the direction of the foyer where he had heard the noise coming from. And as he moved, he heard more creaks, the sound of someone slowly ascending the staircase.

Into the foyer he ducked, his eyes adjusting to the dark, spying immediately the back of she who was not-so-sneakily creeping through his home. When he saw her, even in the dark, Gerald knew who it was. The shape of her body. The smell of her. The way his stomach twisted and his heart beat and the walls seemed to move around him.

He was certain he was seeing things. Only, there was no way.

“Lady Hawkins?” he gasped. She froze, one foot in the air. “What on earth are you doing?”

Slowly, she turned about, grimacing to see him standing at the base of the steps watching her. “Good evening,” she said with an awkward smile. “Fancy seeing you here.”

ChapterTwenty

“What are you doing here, Lady Hawkins?” His tone was more sharp than Aurelia had been expecting. More severe.

He led her into his drawing room, refusing to let her speak until they were somewhere safe, where they would not be at risk of being overheard. She walked in first, hearing the door close shut behind her as the duke followed. Ordinarily, such a sound would elicit excitement, but she could tell immediately from the duke’s cold reception of her that this visit would not be to her liking.

---