Page 66 of The Duke and the Hellion Bride

Now, ironically enough, that was also the problem.

“For once, the rumors are correct,” he sighed. “Diana and I... we have never been happier.”

His grandmother smiled. “I suspected as much.”

“And therein lies the problem. You might have noticed that I am not beaming as if the sun shone from my rearend? Surely, you wonder why that is.”

She shrugged. “Not particularly. In fact, I am surprised it took you this long to come see me. After I heard tell of how happy the two of you were together last night, I half expected you to come knocking at my door any time after midnight. You are tardy, Magnus.”

His face dropped. “What does that mean? You expected it? Expected what?!”

“The reason you are here.”

“You do not know why I am here!”

She looked at him flatly. “Do not insult my intelligence, boy. How well do I know you?”

“Well enough to know that calling me boy is something you should avoid.”

She waved him down. “Might I warrant a guess as to why you are here? Or do you plan on beating your chest for a while longer?”

“Go on then.” He curled his lip. “Have at it.”

His grandmother picked up her cup and had another sip. And then another. Then she placed the saucer back down and folded her hands on her knees, studying Magnus for a moment. All done, of course, for dramatic effect.

“For the first time in your life, Magnus, you are happy – and do not say otherwise. You are happy and that thought terrifies you. It terrifies you so much that the mere concept of exploring this happiness, of daring to let yourself be taken by it, has you wanting to turn tail and flee lest you prove once and for all that you are just like everybody else, your life is no more miserable or downtrodden, and all these years you have spent feeling sorry for yourself will thus have been for nothing.” She cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “There. How did I do?”

Magnus’ face dropped. “That is... you could not be more... it is a nice guess, but far from --”

“I am not going to warrant a guess at what the sudden cause of this panic was,” she spoke over him, a smile behind her eyes as if she knew the answer. “But I would say it occurred to you last night that you are beginning to fall for your wife. Hmm?” She looked at him and he grimaced. She nodded and continued. “You realized suddenly that this marriage is very much real, and you fear that you are not ready – that you are not man enough for such a thing.”

“I never said I wasn’t man enough...” he mumbled with embarrassment.

She sighed and looked at him softly. “You are not your past, Magnus. As I have told you so many times, your childhood was horrid, and I wish to God that it did not happen as it did. Sadly, there is no changing the past, that is impossible. At most, we can put it behind us and --”

“But how can I do such a thing?” he cut her off, desperation in his voice. “It is easy to say but harder to do. What if I am notready?”

She rolled her eyes. “The fact that you are here right now is proof that you are.”

He frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means you not turning your eye to your problems, as you have so often done in the past. No man is truly ready for marriage.” She snorted. “I don’t think a man exists that is. Most, however, are too stubborn to admit it, refusing to back down as if they need to prove themselves. The very idea that they might struggle is beyond their thinking and they would happily burn their marriage to the ground then stop and think.”

“And if they have already burned it to the ground?”

“I doubt it is that bad.”

“It is worse.”

His grandmother shuffled forward and rested a frail hand on his knee. “Your brother’s death was not your fault.”

“Grandmother...”

“Your father’s death was not your fault. Even running to the Americas as you did, it was not your fault – nor was it a bad thing to do. It proved that you have what it takes to be more than what your father wished for you, that you are your own man, and that nobody, anywhere, can tell you what to do. Is that not enough to prove how far you have come since boyhood?”

“Apparently not.”

“May I ask you a question, Magnus? And please, do an old chook like me the service of not lying.”

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