Page 53 of The Duke and the Hellion Bride

He almost let her, too. Hating that she had seen him in this state. Hating that she likely thought of him now as a weak and pitiful thing. Best that he let her go and then forget this sordid venture ever occurred.

Only, it was as she turned away that Magnus was struck by something else... a feeling he’d never had before... a desire, he knew, to reach out and explain himself. He tried to reason that he had to justify what she had seen, as if that might make it better somehow. Although he also suspected there was more to it than that.

Was he not the one who had told her that he would try harder? Did he not owe her that, at least? And after snubbing her where the Truscott Ball was concerned, perhaps this here was a means to set themselves back on an even setting.

“Wait,” he said softly, half hoping she might not hear. “Do not go.”

She stopped short and turned around, but she did not speak. Nor did she go to him.

“What you heard just now...” He hesitated, his heart still thumping painfully, now for a different reason. “It is not what you think.”

“I do not presume to know what I heard.”

He chuckled at that, appreciating that she was at least trying not to judge him.

Magnus thus shuffled up in bed so that he was sitting. If he had his head about him, he might have felt more self-conscious about the fact that he wore no pants, only a nightshirt, soaked through with sweat. But that was the least of his concerns.

“I...” He stopped when he saw her still standing halfway across the room. “You can come closer, if you wish. I will not bite.”

Through the darkness, he saw her smile and roll her eyes. “Well, only if you promise not to.” She approached the bed cautiously, lingered by the end, and then say down by where his feet were tucked under the blankets.

“I suppose telling you that what you just heard was a nightmare, won’t come as some shocking revelation, will it?” he chuckled bitterly.

“I guessed as much.”

“I cannot explain them,” he admitted. Even in the darkness, barely able to see her face, he could not look at her directly. And it did not help that her scent was intoxicating, reminding him fully of who he was speaking with. “But I have experienced them ever since I was a young lad.”

“Oh, that is...” She paused. “And you have them often?”

“Twice a week,” he said. “Although it has felt like they have been more lately. Ever since Victor passed.”

“Is there a connection?”

“Likely,” he sighed. “My hope is that in time they will rescind. Likely, I am just feeling guilt over his death, is all. Really, it is nothing to concern yourself with.”

He could see her nod her understanding. “That is good. I am glad to hear it.” Another pause and he hoped that would be the end of the matter. He had not told her the full truth, but it was a good start. “I am curious, however...” she then began.

He suppressed a groan. “Concerning?”

“You said you have been having them since you were a lad. So how can they be connected to your brother? It just seems unlikely, is all.”

He smiled and shook his head, unsurprised really that she caught onto the lie. That was her way, he was beginning to realize. Most women would have been glad to have been given an out, leaving quickly because who would want to be put in a situation like this? Diana, apparently.

“I --” Magnus caught his tongue, only too aware of where the two sat. He knew what his nightmares concerned. He knew why he had them. But did he wish for Diana to know? Yes, she wanted him to be more honest with her. And he wanted that too. But this... this was more than mere honesty. This was revealing a part of himself that he hated, and now he understood that as much as he hated it, he hated even more to think how she would react. “I am not weak...” he said pitifully.

“I do not think you are,” she said quickly. “How can you say that?”

“What grown man has nightmares?”

“One who has good reason,” she said and then she shuffled further up the bed. “It is not a weakness, Magnus. In fact, to have nightmares such as you do, I can only imagine that you have suffered. One might even say to survive something like that, whatever it is, is the opposite of weakness.”

His brow creased and he tried to see through the darkness, to read her face and see her meaning in her eyes. The words she spoke hit home and were exactly what he needed to hear. Why, it was almost as if she knew.

What has my grandmother been telling her?

That thought almost emboldened him, as if it took away the burden of revealing his past because there was a good chance that Diana knew more than he realized. With that in mind, Magnus began to speak.

“I don’t know if you know this, but as a child, I was very sick.” He waited for her to say something, but she remained silent. He could feel her watching him, however. “For the first ten years of my life, I didn’t once leave my bed. Physically, I couldn’t. Most thought I was going to die.”

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