Page 85 of Letters to the Lost

“Doc. Nice to see you could make it.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss Autumn celebrating Christmas for the first time here for anything,” Doc says, pulling me back in for a side hug, a smile on his face as he looks down at me.

“Well, shall we start decorating before everyone else comes?” Mrs. McKay interjects.

“Yes let’s do that,” Tobias says, squeezing past everyone, his hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me from the room.

“Ma!” Atlas excitedly announces, his ma walking into the room his dad following behind.

“Autumn honey!” She bustles past Atlas, heading straight for me, her arms wide for a hug.

“Hello Mrs. Moore,” I greet her, stepping into her arms for a small hug.

Discomfort takes over my body instantly, my body stiffening as I step away from her hold with a small apologetic smile.

“How about me?” Mr. Moore says, his arms also outstretched for a hug.

“I…”

“She doesn’t do well with physical contact Da, remember?” Atlas says, pulling his dad in for a hug instead.

“How are you doing honey?” Mrs. Moore asks me.

“I’m ok, how are you?”

“I’m good. I’ve missed yo…” Mrs. Moore says, abruptly stopping with a choked sob, “I’ve missed you so much, honey. We never stopped hoping that your father would find you.”

“You’ve been missed around here, Autumn,” Mr. Moore says, “Especially from Atlas, he never gave up hope in finding you.”

“I know, I’m lucky to have him,” I smile at Atlas, his bright green eyes already on me as he smiles back at me lovingly.

“Not as lucky as us Pumpkin.”

“So, when will I be allowed to call you my daughter-in-law?” Atlas’s mom asks me just as I swallow a drink of soda.

“What?” I choke out. Tobias rubs my back as I try not to choke on a cough, completely blindsided by Atlas’s mom.

“Daughter-in-law? I mean it doesn’t change much from when you were a child, and you did promise me I could be your Ma when you both got older and married. With lots of babies,” Mrs. Moore reminds me, causing me to laugh. Maybe just a tad hysterically.

“Um…”

“We are so far off of babies and marriage Ma. Let us just enjoy being with Autumn before doing all of that. There’s no rush,” Atlas says to her, “Now c’mon let's get you some more drinks and let Autumn say hello to her other guests.”

Smiling gratefully at him, I sag against Tobias’s side in relief as they walk away.

“You ok Babygirl?” he asks me, looking down at me with concern.

“I’m ok. It’s just a lot y’know? Seeing people from before. I always feel like they have an expectation of me to be just the same as I was before I left, but I feel like I have such a horrible view of the world now. Before I would have thrown myself into Mr. Moore’s arms for a hug, feeling no discomfort but now the very idea of a man I see as a stranger touching me sends me spiraling.”

“Do you need a break?”

“Thank you, but I think I’m ok right now. Maybe after meeting my three other boyfriend's parents,” I laugh, sinking into the comfort of Tobias for now and just watch as the people I love interact with one another.

No stress, no notes, nothing to ruin this.

Chapter 31

Autumn

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