Page 31 of Letters to the Lost

We leave the room allowing Doc to tend to him, not wanting to see him break apart over the news of his wife. It was necessary, both of them were responsible for Autumn being hurt.

Allowing her horrible excuse of a mother access to her in some way. It’s unforgivable, and death was the kinder way out for Keyon’s wife.

She had a duty to protect Autumn and instead, she allowed Jane to have access to her which led to my girl trying to take her life. It is inexcusable and if she had ended up in the basement with her husband, Dominic would have tortured her for months.

Chapter 14

To my Chlo,

I’ve been here for five weeks now. It’s the same routine every day. I wake up, eat, attend therapy, walk on the beach with Dominic, eat again, then sleep. I feel stronger now but I also feel ashamed at the scars that now decorate my skin, the angry pink lines are a reminder of what I’ve done.

I miss you. I think I will always miss you, but I miss you more today for some reason.

My new therapist asked me what I dream about doing. My goals for my life, once I finish treatment.

I didn’t have an answer because my dreams always involved you. Now, I have to find new dreams, and even if they don’t involve you, you will be the motivation.

I want you to be proud of me, like in the video with Mrs. Fraser. I think I might want to become a foster parent and help children like us who deserve a loving family.

Dominic tells me stories about his mom Kathleen, and I wish we had someone like that. I could be that person for a child in need, I might not be their biological mom, but I could show them the love they deserve to know. I need to get better first, to be able to be the best version of myself.

I remembered that you would ask me to sing to you sometimes, to drown out the sounds of mom’s shouting, and the feeling that came with that as the love I have for you would rush through my body like I could protect you from everything if I just tried hard enough.

This letter probably doesn’t make much sense, but it helps. To feel like I’m able to talk to you, even though I would trade everything just to have you here with me right now.

I love you, Chlo.

I miss you.

Love,

Mama

X

Chapter 15

Autumn

“What is your favorite animal?” my therapist asks me, one leg crossed over the other as his pen rests against the paper. The same position every day, that never wavers.

The question catches me off guard, my favorite animal? In all of my previous sessions we’ve talked about Chlo, Jane, and all of the abuse but we’ve never spoken about anything like this.

“What?” I ask, my head cocked to the side, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Your favorite animal, do you know what it is?” he asks again.

“I…” I pause, trying to think but my brain can’t think about what it could be. Something so simple, but there is no answer, “I don’t think I have one.”

“Okay, what about your favorite song?” he asks again.

“There’s a lot of songs, it’s hard to choose,” I reply, my brows still furrowed.

“That’s true. What about your favorite thing about your boyfriends?” he asks, the scratch of his pen against the paper as he writes, calming me.

“That they love me despite everything,” I replied easily.

“I see, and what is your favorite thing about yourself? Just one thing, it could be small.”

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