Page 13 of Letters to the Lost

This man has been my rock, and he will always be the light in the dark. The light that guides me out of the tunnel when it gets too much.

“Do you want to be alone for this conversation?” Atlas asks him, already standing ready to leave the room. Dominic nods, seeming to need privacy for whatever he is about to tell me.

Swallowing nervously, I wait until everyone has left the room leaving me and Dominic alone.

“Come here,” I pat the chair next to my bed, wanting him closer to me.

“You might not want a monster like me so close to you after I tell you everything, Cupcake.”

“Nonsense, get your butt over here,Pet.”

Slowly he stands, blowing out a deep breath, he makes his way over to the seat next to me, his steps slow and heavy, his shoulders slumped.

Even seated, he towers over me. His dominating presence, a total contrast to the unsure look in his eyes.

Chapter 6

Dominic

‘She – Jake Scott’

“So…” Autumn starts, her face open and hopeful. I just hope my Cupcake doesn’t look at me differently after this. That she doesn’t push me out over what I’m about to tell her. I don’t think I could handle losing her, or bear to be on the outside if she decides she no longer wants me. I’d rather cut out my own heart and hand it to her, it would hurt less. I can already feel the darkness suffocating the light she gives me, feeling lost and hopeless once again.

Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth to start but nothing comes out, my words failing me.

“Dominic?”

“I…”

“You know I won't judge you. I’m not exactly in the position to,” she huffs out a laugh, her smile slightly dimming when she sees my emotionless face. It’s easier to tell her this way, to shut off all the feelings. This way, it will hurt less when she tells me to leave.

God, I hope she doesn’t make me leave. That she can still love me, in spite of the monster I am.

Deciding it’s best to just rip the Band-Aid off, I brace myself and then open my mouth, ready to spill my secrets.

“I was fascinated by blood at a young age,” I tell her “I never hurt any animals or anything like that, but when I got into fights at school and their blood would coat my knuckles, I would get a rush. It was unlike anything I could ever describe.”

“Okay?” She quizzically looks at me, her eyebrows furrowing as if she is confused as to where this could go.

“I was an angry kid, I got into fights often but sometimes it was so I could see the blood, so I could study it as it coated my skin. I liked inflicting pain on the people who deserved it. I would beat up the kids who thought they could bully people smaller than them. I never targeted innocent people.”

This is where it gets tricky, where she might truly leave me because of how messed up I am.

“I would stay up at night studying. Researching all the ways to inflict the most pain on someone, without killing them. How much blood someone can lose before they die.”

“And how much is that?” Autumn asks me, shocking the fuck out of me.

“Anywhere between two and four liters, depending on the person.”

“Have you ever tested it?” she asks, shocking me again.

“I…” I pause “Why aren’t you upset?”

Autumn shrugs her shoulders ``I don’t know, I guess I always knew that something was different about you. You carry your knife around like a comfort toy, you aren’t exactly subtle. I’ve just had my whole world upended by finding out my dad is in the mafia. I don’t think I can be shocked much more than that.”

“We never meant to keep all of this from you, Autumn, I swear.”

“Cupcake.”