Page 5 of Forsaking All Others

But I’d be lying to you if I told you there weren’t times, times like right now, when I look into Maverick’s eyes and ask myself why.

Why wasn’t I enough for him?

Why couldn’t he love me the way Colt does?

Then I look down at the patch he acquired right before I became pregnant with our son, the patch that labels him the president of the Satan’s Knights motorcycle club, and the answer is as clear as it is simple.

Maverick loved his club more than he ever loved me.

Lifting my gaze, our eyes lock and I force a swallow. At forty-one, with a bronze face that’s been kissed by the sun and wind, and dark brown eyes that hold a hint of mischief and mayhem, the man is just as devilishly handsome as he was when I first laid eyes on him. And just as dangerous too because every time I look at Maverick it’s like I’m listening to a song, remembering exactly what life was like when I first heard it.

I shake my head.

“Damn you, Maverick,” I rasp.

His brows pinch together as he takes a step toward me.

“Damn me?” he questions.

“Yeah,” I clip. “Damn you.” I push my fingers through my hair and turn away from him. The kitchen suddenly feels too small for the both of us, but that’s no surprise. Maverick has a way of getting under my skin. He can turn a simple conversation into a trip down memory lane without even trying. It’s infuriating.

“You asked me if I remember what you were like at sixteen.”

“I was trying to make a point.”

“So was I,” he defends.

I spin around, anger coiling in my veins. The man knows how to push all my buttons.

“Oh, yeah and what point might that be?” I snap, gritting my teeth.

He leans closer, throwing fuel on an old flame that won’t burn out. A twin flame that won’t fucking die no matter how much I will it to. Maverick and I are embers from the same fire. We’re dust from the same star. A perfect mirror of one another’s soul. And nothing, no man or woman, can tamper with what has been written in the stars. We’ve lived a thousand lives before this one, our hearts recognized who we were before our eyes ever did, and we’ve lost each other in every single life. I suppose that’s why it hurts so much. I can love Colt until the day I die, but my soul will never belong to him. It will always find Maverick.

“You asked a question and I simply gave you an answer. Now, I’m sorry that answer don’t fit the narrative you’ve been spinning since you left my sorry ass, but that don’t make it any less true. I remember you at sixteen. I remember you at eighteen too. I remember you at every fucking age, Holly. And ten years from now you can ask me if I remember what you were like at thirty-six and I’ll give you the same fucking answer because like it or not, you’re in my bones. I’d have to tear myself open to forget you.”

Tears welling in my eyes, I shake my head.

“You can’t say things like that to me.”

“Think you know me well enough to know the word can’t isn’t in my vocabulary, darlin’.” He takes another step closer, raising his hand to gently touch my cheek. “I know you’re his,” he murmurs, softly, his hand stills on my face as his eyes bore into mine. “I’ve made peace with it. Colt is a good guy, baby. I see how he treats you…how he treats the kids and I respect him for it but stop trying to erase our history.”

I lift my hand, my fingers circling his wrist. How did we get here? One minute we’re talking about our daughter, the next we’re breathing one another’s air. It’s not right. I pull his hand away from my face and take a step backward.

“Tara—”

He cuts me off.

“Is going to defy us, it’s her right as a teenager. She’s gonna make mistakes too and who knows, maybe this guy will be one of those mistakes, maybe he won’t. Maybe he’s just the guy who fills the beginning pages of a great story.”

I swipe a tear from the corner of my eye.

Maverick didn’t just fill the beginning of my pages, he consumed every line and even now, as I approach the middle of my story, he’s still very much a part of it.

Lifting my chin, my gaze slides up to his.

“Or maybe he’ll be the guy who appears in every chapter,” I murmur softly.

He laughs and a bittersweet smile tugs the corners of my lips. Maverick’s got a great laugh, it’s almost as good as his smile, but he doesn’t do much of either and that always hurt my heart. I wanted to make him smile. I wanted to make him laugh.

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