Page 81 of Forsaking All Others

I let those words sink in, taking in the fresh sheen of tears that fill her eyes as she says them.

“You didn’t come home and then I see her here,” she continues, her voice cracking. She pushes my hand away and sits up. “Is that why? I mean we haven’t talked about it, but I…” Her voice trails and she closes her eyes for a moment. Then she brings them back to me and fuck me—she’s hurtin’. “Are you fucking her?”

Still keeping tabs on my dick.

Still fucking with my head.

If she didn’t look like she was on the verge of having a meltdown, I might unleash the fury inside of me.

Give her the truth.

Tell her that she’s killing me.

“No, I’m not fucking her,” I say, my jaw tight. “I haven’t touched her since you and her had words the morning you came here with that H & M plan of yours.” Then I pause and stare at her for a beat. “Didn’t think it needed to be said, but I’ll give it to you anyway, baby. My dick only wants you. It only ever did.”

From the minute she stepped foot inside my clubhouse.

A single tear slips from the corner of her eye.

“You didn’t come home,” she whispers.

I can see she isn’t going to let this go. The conversation I planned on having after Tara told me she knew I loved her mother, the conversation I decided to put off after I found out what happened to Colt—that conversation needs to be had.

I tried the on my knees thing.

I folded my hands.

Prayed to be better a man.

That shit didn’t work.

A man finds his treasure, he takes it.

“Baby, that ain’t my home. That is a house, one you shared with the man you’re mourning. The man I took from you. My home is here. It’s this fucking bed where I had you and our kids sleep. Don’t tell me I didn’t come home,” I murmur, my throat tight. “I came home. I came here, where I could dream of you and not feel guilty about it.”

Where you’re mine. Only mine.

“I donated his clothes,” she blurts.

“What?”

“I called the church and had them come here to pick up Colt’s clothes. I took off my ring too, but I put them back on because Hawk came into the trailer and I…well, I freaked out for a minute because before he knocked on the trailer, I had an epiphany of sorts.”

“An epiphany.”

She nods.

“I loved Colt,” she rasps. “I did.”

The knife twists.

It cuts.

Diggin’ deep.

“I know,” I rasp.

I fucking know.

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