Page 10 of Oh Holy Knight

Chapter Four

Nico

After my dadslams the mallet down and dismisses the club, I hang back and wait for the room to clear. Realizing I have no intention of leaving, he stands from his seat at the other end of the table and crosses the room to close the door. Turning back to me, his eyes narrow with concern as he crosses his arms against his chest.

“Something wrong?” he asks.

Looking away, I swipe a hand over my face. A heavy sigh escapes my lips and I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead as I obsess over how to say what’s on my mind.

“Nico,” he calls.

I bring my eyes back to him.

“If this is about Christmas…”

His voice trails and I shake my head. I think it’s great that he’s finally allowing himself to celebrate the holidays the way he did prior to Frankie’s death. Christmas used to be my dad’s favorite time of year and its shame that Anna hasn’t had a chance to experience her grandpa’s crazy antics. I’m sure she’ll get a kick out of seeing him play Santa and if I’m being honest, she’s probably going to love the whole elf thing too.

“I think it’s great that you’ve decided to have the holidays again,” I say honestly, watching as he uncrosses his arms. He pulls out the chair to my left and folds himself into it.

“But,” he probes.

“Well, I was…” I pause and draw out another heavy sigh. Just rip the fucking band-aid off, man, and spit it out. “…I was thinking.”

“Always worrisome,” he jokes.

“I’ve been toying with the idea of proposing to Carrie on Christmas Eve,” I blurt.

There.

I said it.

I finally fucking said it.

His eyes widen slightly, but the rest of his face remains expressionless and the longer he remains silent, the more I wish I can take back the words. Another man wouldn’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion. He wouldn’t seek permission of his own father to marry the woman he loves, but our situation is a little different. Carrie has no relationship with her douchebag father and after everything that went down when she got pregnant with Anna, my dad has become a father figure in her life.

Still, that ain’t the reason I’m fucking sweating.

Carrie was Frankie’s before she ever became mine and while I’ve made peace with that, asking her to be my wife on Christmas may be too much, too soon. I mean, it would be just my luck to want to pop the question on the day dad decides to revive Christmas in my brother’s honor.

“Was? As in you’ve changed your mind?” he asks, his bushy eyebrows pinching together with confusion.

I shake my head.

“Well, no. I already put a deposit on the ring. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it but it came to me earlier. I want to propose after we put Anna to sleep and do the whole Santa thing.”

Before he announced his plans, I imagined putting the gifts under the tree and then when we were about to turn in for the night, I’d get down on one knee and ask her to marry me. It seemed like a good idea in my head and tonight, after we trimmed the tree, it was confirmed. That flocked thing might make a mess, but it was going to act as the backdrop to my marriage proposal.

My gaze focuses on my dad and I watch as he leans his back against the chair. Stroking his beard, he stares at me thoughtfully and the beads of sweat multiply.

“This is something the two of you discussed?”

I think about that for a moment. It hasn’t been a topic of much discussion, but we’ve addressed it. We both want to be married and Carrie has talked about eventually giving Anna a sibling—something I’ve secretly wanted since I held Anna in my arms after she was first born. My mind knew that little girl wasn’t mine, but my heart didn’t. It still doesn’t. She’ll never call me dad and I’m okay with that. My brother is her father and dead or alive, I’d never take that from him. In fact, I make sure Frankie is spoken of often and that there are pictures around the house for her to see and know who her dad was. But as secure as I am in my role in Anna’s life, I wouldn’t mind giving her a brother or a sister.

Hell, I wouldn’t mind giving her five.

“We’ve talked about it some,” I say, cocking my head as I gauge his reaction. He doesn’t give much away—he never does. “I think it will be a complete surprise, though, seeing as we haven’t discussed it recently.”

He shrugs his shoulders and squints.

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