Page 74 of Fight Or Flight

Yeah, what about me?

Do you really think we can make whatever this is work?

Do you still want to try?

“C’mon, dad, that’s a cheap shot,” Eric rasps.

“Is it? A week ago, you sat in this very spot and handed me my ass, telling me I needed to back off. What happened to taking a fucking stand? You told me she mattered to you and that you wouldn’t hurt her.”

“She does matter to me!”

I close my eyes.

You matter to me too, Soldier Boy.

You matter so much.

“And I have no intention of hurting her.”

“Newsflash, kid, walking away from her after everything she’s been through, is going to hurt her.”

A week ago, I agreed with him. I feared for my heart, but now I fear the possibility of regret more.

“I gave you the benefit of the doubt because you’re my son,” Riggs continues. “I reminded myself that I was once in your shoes and I wanted to wreck anyone who stood in my way. But I get it, those people, your grandma and your uncle, they were trusting me with something they deemed precious. They didn’t want me to get close, because they feared I’d walk away. But I got the girl, son, I married her and built a life with her. I didn’t leave.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Eric hisses.

“I don’t think you know much of anything,” Riggs spats. “You can be killed out there!”

My chest tightens at those words and I immediately force them to the back of my head. Riggs goes quiet, but the next words that come from his mouth sound strained. “How can you be so cavalier with your life when you’re a fucking walking miracle?”

“That’s just it,” Eric exclaims. “I’m standing here today because of another man’s sacrifice. I have to honor that.”

At the reference to my dad, tears immediately fill my eyes. I may not have known the man who sacrificed his life for the boy in the next room, but I think it’s safe to say the honor was all his. It requires no thanks or sacrifice of his own. Bones did what he did because he wanted to. Just like Riggs didn’t hesitate to take me in, Bones would’ve stood in front of a million loaded guns. That’s just the narrative of this story. One that’s been written in the stars and carries over into a new generation with me and Eric as the leads.

“And you think you’re going to do that by risking your life? Eric, I’ve been to war, maybe not the one you’re heading to, but war, nonetheless. I’ve fought for things I believed in, and I didn’t always win. I’ve been shot at, tied up, and beaten within an inch of my life. I’ve watched the woman I love take a bullet and then I watched the man I considered to be my brother throw his body over hers. I’ve had their blood on my hands and I promise you, that’s not something you ever want to experience. It’s ugly, and it haunts you every damn day you open your eyes. That is not the life you want for yourself, and it is no way to honor a man who gave up everything for you to be here.”

“I disagree. For me, it’s the only way.”

What does that even mean? Living a beautiful life should be the way he honors my dad. Oh, Eric, what are you doing?

“You’re wrong,” Lauren cries. “You’re so wrong.”

“Look, you guys don’t have to understand my decision, or even agree with it, but I wish you would respect it. Who knows, I might even make you both proud.”

Eric and I don’t have to be apart for my heart to break, it’s already breaking for him and he’s in the next room.

“Eric, don’t walk away,” Lauren pleads.

“I’m sorry, Mom.”

Realizing he’s about to exit the living room, I wipe the tears that have escaped my eyes and start for the stairs. I don’t make it very far, though.

“How much of that did you hear?” Eric calls from behind me.

Swallowing, I turn to face him. I can’t lie to him.

“All of it,” I confess.

He nods and steps closer. Lifting a hand, he touches my cheek. There is no smile. No hint of mischief or promise of fun. His emotions are raw, his soul is bare.

“Raincheck on that pizza date,” he murmurs, dropping his hand.

“Eric.”

“Not now, Brook. I can’t talk about it.”

He leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to my forehead. Then he’s gone and I realize loving Eric will be like going to war myself.

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