Page 71 of Fight Or Flight

Brooklyn

Last night I dreamt of my mom. It was the first time since she passed that she visited me in my dreams, and when I woke, my faith in her was restored. She might not be here physically, but my mom is with me spiritually, pushing me to take chances and reminding me life is too short to be fearful.

I suppose that’s what gave me the courage to ask Lauren if I could take Eric to his road test appointment after school. The last week has been awful without him by my side. I felt as though I didn’t just lose my mother, but I lost him too—pretty ironic considering that’s why I pushed him away in the first place. I was so scared of feeling the loss of him when he left for bootcamp that I didn’t realize losing him while he’s still here with me would be an even greater void. Eric wasn’t just some boy I was in danger of falling for, he was my friend. My only friend to be honest and I needed him to remind me of all the things I seemed to forget.

Be brave.

Be strong.

Be a hurricane.

I needed— no; I need him to remind me of all those things because I have four months to become them. When Eric leaves for basic training, he’s going to be tried and tested. He’s going to miss his home and the people he loves. He’s going to question his decision and doubt his abilities. He’s not going to be the pillar of strength I’ve come to rely on. The script is going to flip, and it will be my chance to even the score.

My chance to be what he needs.

A pretty little hurricane waiting for her soldier to come home.

“Hey, what do you say we go out and celebrate?”

I turn my head at the sound of his voice, taking in the way he looks behind the wheel. After we left the road test site, I handed him the keys to my car. It was no BMW, but he was legally allowed to drive it. He grinned at me and those butterflies that had been dormant for a week returned and they were stronger than ever.

“Nothing crazy,” he clarifies. “We can go for pizza or something.”

“Sure,” I say. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anything to celebrate and pizza sounds amazing. That turkey burger at school was the pits. Thank God for Oreos.

He tears his eyes from the road and gives me a lopsided grin. I missed everything about Eric, but I think I missed his smile most. Some people associate home with a scent or a place, maybe even an object—but these last couple of weeks I have come to think of Eric’s smile as home.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I reply softly. He removes his hand from the steering wheel and reaches for mine, our fingers interlock and it’s a perfect fit, but I knew that already. I was just too scared to admit it.

A couple of minutes later he turns into the driveway and we get out of the car. He grabs my hand again, and that’s exactly how we walk into the house.

“I’m going to take a quick shower and then we’ll go,” he says.

While I’m just as anxious to spend time with him, I think he’s forgetting something.

“You might want to share your good news with your parents, no?”

He smiles sheepishly.

Yeah, I really missed his smile.

“Yeah, I should probably do that too,” he laughs, but he doesn’t try to do that. In fact, neither of us moves an inch. We stand there for a minute just staring at one another. Finally, I find the courage to make the first move.

Be brave.

Be strong.

Be a hurricane.

Reaching up on my tiptoes, I press my lips to his cheek. It’s a quick peck but there’s plenty more where that came from, I just think we need to have a discussion before any of that can happen. You know—the discussion he probably wanted to have a week ago, but I tucked tail and ran before he could.

The sound of someone clearing their throat forces us apart and we both turn to see Riggs. Oh, and while we’re at it, we should probably figure out how we’re going to explain all of this to his parents too—that would be helpful. But judging by the scowl on his face now doesn’t appear to be a good time to have that discussion.

“I need to speak with Eric, alone,” Riggs says roughly as he glares at his son. I’m not sure what Eric has done, but it must be bad because I’ve never seen Riggs so angry. The tone of his voice is menacing too, and I quickly unravel myself from Eric.

The hugging will have to wait.

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