Page 67 of Blackout: Book Two

“I was mandated to rehab, Sunny,” I remind her. “The choice wasn’t mine.”

“Wasn’t it, though? Do you know how many people are mandated to rehab and do shit when they’re in here? Okay, so you were a bit of jerk when you first got here.”

“I fucked up your aura, didn’t I?”

“Sent it to Hell in a handbasket,” she agrees. “But then something changed. You changed. You put yourself first and I think Lacey needs to do that too. I’m not a psychiatrist and I won’t pretend that I am but from what you’ve shared with me, it sounds like she’s spent some time being your life coach. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t ask her to take on that role, it’s just part of who she is. Like it’s in her nature to put that baby she’s carrying before herself, she chose to put you before her too.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Okay, oh wise one, if you’re always right, tell me what I do now because sitting here while she suffers through a blackout isn’t cutting it.”

“I know it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything but sitting by the phone…”

Eyeing the phone, I raise an eyebrow.

“Okay, so maybe you are sitting by the phone…”

“Exactly,” I grunt. “Fuck this,” I add, lifting the phone. Before Sunny can try to stop me from making the call, I punch in Jack’s number. On the third ring, his voice sounds and relief instantly floods me.

“Black,” he says, defeat heavy in his tone.

“How is she?”

“Reina called Dr. Spiegel on the way home and she made us meet her at the hospital.”

“The hospital?”

“Black, it’s bad. They admitted her. Spiegel is going to do a psych evaluation tomorrow and then, I think the plan is to call in the OBGYN—”

Still stuck on psych evaluation, I cut him off.

“Wait, back up. They admitted her for a psych evaluation,” I repeat back, looking at Sunny for some sort of clarity, knowing she can’t give it to me.

“Yeah, she’s in the psych ward, Black,” he elaborates, his voice cracking as he says my name. “All these years, we thought it would be me,” he rasps. “Instead, it’s my daughter. I should’ve realized she was struggling.”

“Lacey wasn’t going to let anyone in on that, Jack, because of the baby,” I tell him. “She was determined to stay off her meds.”

“Well, as I said, Spiegel is bringing in her OBGYN to consult on treatment. With you being where you are, I’m her proxy. I don’t think it has to be said, but in case you need to hear it anyway, I won’t make any decisions that aren’t in both Lacey and the baby’s best interest. Spiegel hinted that she plans on starting Lace back on Lithium so long as Heltzer says it’s safe. You good with that call or you want me to get a second opinion?

“Heltzer was concerned for the baby during the first trimester,” I tell him. “He said any possible birth defects would usually occur during that period. So, if putting her back on the meds is what they say she needs, then give the okay.”

“That’s what I figured,” he says. “She’s gonna fucking hate it.”

“You just gotta remind her our daughter needs her mother. Tell her she’s carried her this far that she can’t give up now. The baby is safe. It’s time to make her mother safe.”

Safe from herself.

From that fucking bitch in her head.

“And while you’re at it, tell her I love her, will you? I don’t know if it sunk in while she was here, but you make sure she knows that, Jack. Make sure she knows how fucking proud I am of her too. Tell her she’s the best mother, the only woman I’d ever want for my daughter’s mother.”

I know I’m rambling but it’s true.

Lacey doesn’t realize how selfless she’s been or how blessed our daughter is. If someone was to grant me one wish, I’d wish our daughter is just as compassionate as the woman who made her.

“Will do.”

---