Page 58 of Blackout: Book Two

Chapter Nineteen

Blackie

I never realized how much I’ve underrated the power of a hug until my arms lock around Lacey and I feel her belly press against my body. Sunny claims a hug is the greatest medicine and that four a day is necessary for survival. She also says hugging allows us to communicate when we don’t have the proper words to express how we feel. Maybe she’s right because in that single moment, all of Lacey’s energy is transferred to me and I’m rendered speechless. For the first time in months, I’m fucking complete.

Yeah, hugs are the best. They’re fucking everything.

She lifts her head from my chest, and I smile down at her. Keeping one arm around her waist, I bring my other one around and lift my free hand to her face, gently brushing away the tears sliding down her cheeks.

“Hi,” I murmur softly.

A laugh bubbles from her throat and she wraps her hand around my wrist, leaning her cheek into my palm as she stares up at me.

“Hi, yourself,” she whispers.

Reluctantly, I gently move my hands to her shoulders and take a step back. As much as I want another hug, I need to see her. To take in every inch, and every curve. Commit them all to my memory.

“Let me look at you,” I say huskily.

Tucking a wayward curl behind her ear, she brings her other hand to her belly and turns slightly to the side so I can get a better view. It seems like a lifetime ago we were lying in bed together trying to imagine what she’d look like pregnant. Anything I’ve pictured is nothing compared to the real thing. She’s gorgeous and that belly…that belly is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“You’re staring,” she whispers.

“Yeah, you should probably get used to that,” I say, lifting my gaze to hers. “I knew you’d be the most beautiful pregnant woman.”

She rolls her eyes but smiles.

“Stop, I’m going to have to go home later and between my stomach and the big head I might not fit through the door,” she teases, cocking her head to the side. Drawing her lip lower lip between her teeth, she waves a hand in front of her face. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without facial hair…can I?”

I hate that she feels the need to ask to touch me, but I get it. I’ve wanted to put my hands on her stomach since I felt it against mine and I haven’t found the nerve to yet.

“You don’t have to ask.”

Taking a step closer, she releases her lip and lifts her hand to my face. Her fingers trace my jaw gently, moving towards my lips. I watch as her eyes take the same path and the fight the urge to dip my head and take her mouth. It’s been so long since I’ve had a taste.

Suddenly her hand falls away, and she takes a step back. One step feels like she’s put a valley between us.

“Smooth as a baby’s ass,” she quips awkwardly.

I’ve always made it my job to be in tune with what Lacey’s feeling and thinking. I know when she’s nervous and I hate that I’m the one making her feel that way. When we talk on the phone, it’s not awkward or forced anymore. It’s natural. I didn’t expect her to be uncomfortable around me.

“Lacey,” I say softly as I reach for her. She lets me take her hand and I gently pull her back to me, erasing the gap she between us. Bending my head, I touch my forehead to hers and look into her brown eyes.

“You’re nervous,” I murmur.

“A little,” she admits on a sigh.

“Why?”

“Because it’s you and me and so much has happened. So much has changed and is continuing to change,” she whispers hoarsely.

“We’re still Leather and Lace.”

“Are we?”

“Always,” I rasp.

There is no mistaking the fear in her voice and it’s my actions, all my mistakes, that put that fear in her. I know I can’t erase what I’ve done. I can’t even make it better. But I’ve made peace with that. I won’t beat myself up for the sins I’ve committed because that will never get me where I need to be. The best gift I can give her is being the best version of myself and that’s what I’m doing. She just needs to see me for who I’m becoming and not the man who broke her heart. I think she may even like him better. Maybe she won’t mind loving him for the rest of her life.

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