Page 43 of Blackout: Book Two

“He kissed it,” Reina adds, and that bit of knowledge does me in. My shoulders shake as a sob sounds from the back of my throat.

I can see it.

If I close my eyes, I can see him lifting that photo to his lips. I can feel the love he has for her too. For it matches mine.

“I think it’s safe to say he’s still very much team girl, and she already has her daddy wrapped around her finger.”

I can see that too.

In my dreams, she’s as much wrapped around his heart as he is wrapped around her finger. For in my dreams they already share that unbreakable bond between a father and his daughter.

“For sure,” my father agrees. “Naturally he asked for you.”

Wiping my eyes, I snap my eyes back to him.

“What did you tell him?”

“He didn’t ask why you weren’t there, but his disappointment was written all over his face when he realized you weren’t coming.” He pauses for a moment, offering me a small smile. “He wanted to see pictures of you. Luckily, I had a few on hand and was able to oblige. He was really interested in knowing everything about the pregnancy. He wanted to know if you had any cravings and asked me to buy you a body pillow. Do you know what that is?”

“Of course I know what that is,” I laugh slightly. “I’m impressed that he does, though.”

“That makes two of us,” my father grunts before he releases a sigh and touches a hand to my knee. “I know you’ve got your reasons and I respect them, but you should reconsider seeing him. I think you’d be surprised by what you find.”

“I’m terrified,” I whisper truthfully.

“I know you are, but Lacey, it’s different this time. He’s different. I don’t know if it’s the baby coming or having hit rock bottom, but I see it in his eyes…he’s finally got a will to live, Lace.”

“You don’t get it,” I snap, brushing his hand away from my knee. “I can’t see him. I can’t lose him.”

I’m on my feet in a flash, putting as much space as possible between us. I lift my trembling hands to my head and I’m suddenly at my maker’s mercy. There is no making sense of my feelings or compartmentalizing my thoughts. There’s her voice and nothing else.

He’ll never love you.

Not sober.

He was high when he met you.

Impaired when he told you he loved you.

And fucking loaded when he married you.

Don’t get me started on the reasons he impregnated you.

You were nothing but a shiny toy.

Something to make him feel good about himself.

You serve no purpose to him sober.

He’ll never love you.

Not clean.

“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?” I whisper.

“Lacey,” my father calls but his voice…it's so far away. “He loves you more than anything in this world.”

Lies.

They’re nothing but lies.

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