Page 59 of Riding the Edge

Chapter Seventeen

I was having an out of body experience. That’s the only logical explanation as to why I was lying in bed with Al, eating Chinese food out of paper cartons. I didn’t even argue when he suggested we nix the silverware and try our luck with chopsticks. Of course, I was worried about staining the sheets—duck sauce is a bitch to get out, but I bit my tongue and threw caution to the wind. In theory, I suppose it’s a greater expense to live with regrets than to buy a new set of ivory sheets.

Everyone should have one messy meal in their bed with an incredibly sexy man.

Put that on your bucket list and make sure you check it off.

I promise it’ll be worth it.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, drawing my attention to him. Sprawled out on my bed, with his back propped against the headboard, I stare at him and marvel over how he fits. Tattoos, beard and all, he belongs right here with me, lounging against my satin sheets, plucking General Tso’s chicken from a takeaway carton.

“You’re breaking all my rules,” I say finally, lifting my eyes to his.

“Rules are meant to be broken, Lady,” he points out, popping the piece of chicken into his mouth.

“Yeah, I guess they are,” I agree, taking a bite of my egg roll.

If you’re going to live it up and eat in bed, you might as well eat one of the messiest foods.

“I have to head out soon,” he begins, placing the carton on the nightstand. “Got some shit with my kid I need to deal with,” he grunts, looking off into space. Though his beard covers most of his face, I can still make out the twitch in his jaw.

“Is everything okay?”

“Nico’s decided he’s going to join a club.”

“I’m going to assume he’s not joining Oprah’s book club.”

He snaps his eyes back to me and I shrug innocently, taking another bite of my egg eggroll.

“Nice to see you feeling better,” he mumbles. With my mouthful, I can’t help but laugh as he winds a strand of my hair around his finger. “To answer your question, no; Nico’s not looking to join Oprah on her crusade to recruit readers around the globe.”

Bypassing the fact I’m super impressed he knows anything at all about Oprah and her international book club, I focus on what he’s sharing.

“Well, if he’s going to join a club wouldn’t it make sense for it to be the Satan’s Knights?”

“He’s not joining shit,” he growls. “I didn’t spend his whole life keeping my distance just so he can follow in my footsteps, anyway.”

“You sound like you have regrets.”

“Don’t we all?” he replies, releasing the piece of hair he was toying with. “It comes with the sentence.”

“I suppose but if we learn from our regrets doesn’t that change the game?”

“Sometimes we wake up too late,” he says, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You learn from yours, Lady?”

“I like to think so,” I reply, contemplating if there is truth to my answer.

If I look back on my regrets, I’d say choosing bad men is at the top of the list. I’d like to say I broke the cycle after my husband but through the years, I’ve repeated the same mistake. I gave my time to men who were undeserving. I trusted the untrustworthy and fell for the ones I always thought I could fix. It wasn’t until recently that I realized my worth.

Anthony thinks I allowed Lenny to take advantage of me. He thinks I lent him that money because I was blinded by love. He doesn’t know Lenny didn’t ask for the money or that I gave the money with no intention of ever being paid. Lenny’s son was an addict and he couldn’t afford to help him into rehab. It didn’t matter that we dated a while back that had nothing to do with why I helped him. I did it because if it was me in that situation, I would want someone to show me the same kindness.

“Name one,” Al challenges.

“I’m not the first woman to love a bad man once or twice in a lifetime but, I learned I can’t fix the broken,” I admit, cocking my head to the side. A smile spreads across my lips as I stare at him. “And, I’m better for it.”

“That right?” he murmurs. His gaze falls to my lips. “How do you figure?”

“Well for one, it makes it easy to appreciate the good man sitting next to me now.”

---