Page 19 of Riding the Edge

“You make him suffer?” I ask, turning to meet his gaze.

Every fucking battle and every enemy who tried to stand in our way, thirty plus years of delivering retribution and defending our honor, it all flashes between us.

“What do you think?” he says. “We came armed with a flask of acid and a letter from Ally. I only wish I could do it over and over. Ain’t no sweeter sound than a spineless bitch crying as he begs you to spare him or his anguished screams as you melt him from the inside out.”

Nodding, I uncross my arms and shove my hands in the front pockets of my jeans.

“Linc is with Kelly and if everything checks out, she’ll be released today or the latest tomorrow. Cops up in Purchase took in a few of the guys but nothing stuck and they got released this morning.”

Stepping closer to me, he glances around the empty hallway before bringing the tone of his voice down a few notches.

“We told them one of Yankovich’s men followed your sons to the garage and shot the paramedic. Figuring we’d go after him, he took the ambulance back to Purchase,” he says. “You took your son here, and we went after him.”

As hard as it is to process how easily Jack pissed on our brotherhood, it’s equally hard to break a habit that spans over decades. I might want to tell him to go fuck himself, but my loyalty to the club has been engrained in my soul and my conscience won’t let me forget that.

“Yeah, well you got a problem,” I tell him. “A detective came down here last night sniffing around. They’re looking into the dead paramedic and the one that worked on Nico is still floating around somewhere. If she talks your story goes to shit and we’re all done.”

“Don’t you worry about that. I’ll handle the paramedic,” he assures, pausing as he bites the inside of his cheek. “That being said, you and I need to talk, brother. I don’t expect it to be now but once your son is out of the woods, you need to make me understand what happened here. Why you didn’t tell me about Linc and what Cain’s connection to Yankovich was. I need to know why you kept it from the club so we can move past it because I gotta tell you, just because that cunt is dead, don’t mean there isn’t someone waiting in the wings to take his place.”

“What are you going to do, Jack? Knock off an innocent girl?” I hiss, shaking my head in disgust. “Get a handle on your shit before you follow down Cain’s path.”

“Playing the crazy card, Wolf?” he spats.

“We all knew Cain was losing it towards the end. He might not have been mentally ill, but he was losing his battle with drugs and getting sloppy,” I tell him. “Now, I’ll give you what I got on Cain, tell you all the ways he fucked us, but I want something in return.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” he asks, offering me a sinister smirk.

“Laugh it up, Parrish,” I growl, closing the distance between us and getting in his face. “I want out.”

The wicked grin falls from his lips as he narrows his eyes, processing my words. To be fair, they’re as much a shock to me as they are to him. In all my life, I never thought I’d say them. I always planned on dying with my cut—for my cut.

“You want out,” he repeats.

“Gave this club everything I had,” I reply, pointing a finger against his chest. “Gave you all of me. Took the rap for you when we were two punk kids who got pinched on those home invasions and I haven’t stopped having your back. Everyone jokes that I’ve been married three times, but no one says why my marriages failed. No one mentions how I sacrificed my family time and time again for the sake of my patch.”

“We all made sacrifices, Wolf.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a nod. “But you and I made the most. You want to go lose your mind for this fucking shit, go right ahead but I’m done giving. You were ready to burn me at the stake and as long as I live, I won’t ever forget that.”

“Put yourself in my shoes.”

“I have,” I remind him. “Whether you want to admit it or not, every time your motherfucking maker came out to play, I stepped in your shoes and lead this club. I’m not looking for a medal, man—you know that, but I did expect a little trust. I earned that and your respect too. Instead, I got put on the receiving end of the Bulldog in his manic state. I’m done sacrificing. The patch didn’t take Junior from you,” I say, speaking of his late son who passed at the tender age of two. “A reckless driver took him and every day you live with the guilt of his death. Imagine what would’ve happened, how you would have felt if you were helplessly bound to a chair, watching your fucking kid bleed out because some cocksucker with a hard-on for your club decided to put a bullet in his chest.”

“You don’t get to bring my dead kid into your tirade,” he roars, getting in my face. “You want to walk away, do it with dignity and leave my boy to rest in peace.”

“I didn’t mean any disrespect,” I reply, brushing his hand away from my chest. “I loved that kid,” I add.

“You think I don’t care for your son? That he wasn’t on my mind the entire time we were taking care of Yankovich?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” I holler.

Taking a step back, he threads his fingers through his salt and pepper hair.

“Then maybe you do need to step away and figure that out,” he says finally. Drawing in a deep breath, he looks around the empty hallway before meeting my gaze once more. “I’m going to tell you like I told Pipe after he buried his wife, your place is with this club but you’re right, it can’t be everything. There needs to be a balance between man and patch, state and church, and until you find that you’re not going to be able to let this go.”

“Oh, cut the shit Parrish,” I hiss. “Don’t give me that heart nonsense. I found my heart three fucking times and three times I threw it away. I served this club to the best of my ability and now I’m walking away with nothing but regrets. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go sit with my son and will him to wake up. You’ll get my intel on Cain when I turn in my patch.”

“You can turn in your patch, but like Pipe, you’ll realize you can’t walk away,” he says, pausing for a beat. “I might be the president of this club, but you are the heart and soul of it.”

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