“I may not have put much thought into having children but before yesterday I had the choice and now it’s been taken from me,” she whispers, taking my hands into hers and squeezing them. “But that doesn’t mean it has to be taken from you.”
She’s lost her mind.
The stress of waiting for the test results, her father dying, throw in her bat-shit crazy relatives visiting, it’s made her lose her ever-loving mind. I pull my hands out of hers and grip her hips tugging her onto my lap before reaching up and cupping her face. Her eyes widen, and I loosen my hold on her cheeks but continue to keep my eyes on her.
“We’re only ever going to have this conversation once so listen real good, Nikki,” I order. “I asked you to marry me, put a ring on your finger for the whole world to know you’re mine. I didn’t do that without seriously thinking it through. It’s not that I wasn’t sure you were the only girl I’d ever marry, but I wanted to be sure I could be everything you needed in a husband.
Before you, I never thought about settling down, I didn’t want to be tied to another person. I told myself I was content living alone, but in reality I didn’t want to let myself get close to anyone because every person I’ve ever loved has been taken from me. After my mother died I never planned on sticking around here but I couldn’t walk away from you. We were nothing, barely reacquainted with one another when your smart mouth dared me to stay here, I knew I couldn’t go back to Pennsylvania. It was the best decision of my life and I thank my mother every day for sending me you.”
“Mikey—” she starts, but I silence her, placing my finger to her lips.
“Not done saying my peace, Princess,” I say, calmly. “I know life without you, I know the man I am without you by my side and that guy doesn’t hold a candle to the man you make me. I stayed in New York for you, hoping you’d give me a shot to be the guy you spend the rest of your life with. You…you’re my why, always and forever baby—” My words are cut off by her mouth as it crashes over mine. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pulls me closer to her, sliding her tongue between my lips.
I gave in as I always did because giving in meant I won too.
Winning is being her guy.
Winning is having her in my life.
Winning is finding the one person I’m meant to travel through this crazy thing called life with.
Winning is Nikki becoming my wife.
Winning is us.
And if it’s just us in the end, well, that’s winning too.
Breaking the kiss, I watch as her eyelids flutter open and look into those brown eyes I’m going to stare into for the rest of my life. Those eyes look back at me.
“Ask me again what I want,” I demand huskily.
“What do you want, Mikey?”
“If you decide you want to have a baby then we’ll do whatever we have to do to get you pregnant,” I waggle my eyebrows suggestively, teasing her with the possibilities. “If you decide you want to get a dog instead, I’m cool with Beethoven. You want twelve cats, a parrot and goldfish, I’ll turn this house into a zoo. If you want all that and then decide you want the kid, then we’ll move the zoo into the yard and baby proof the house. Whatever you want, I’m game, as long as I get to be your guy. That’s all I want.”
“Twelve cats?” she queries with a smile.
“I’d get you a goddamn lion if it made you smile.”
“You love me,” she declares.
“More than anything,” I agree.
“I love you too, Mikey,” she whispers, leaning her forehead against mine. “And every day I thank your mom for sending you to me too.”
Cradling her in my arms, I turn her around. Lifting her, she wraps her arms around my neck as I stand and carry her toward the house. I press my lips gently to hers.
Winning.
Thanks Mom.