Page 461 of The Tempted

I knew what I felt and what I should say, yet I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand there and say goodbye. I couldn’t thank him for being a brother to me, not the kind that wore matching cuts, but the type of brother that guided me through life. Jack preaches about heart and that it keeps you from being reckless but most of my life it was Bones who kept me from being reckless. I didn’t need heart when I had a friend that could always reign me in, guide me away from the peril and put my ass on the right path.

He’s been my voice of reason, the one pulling me back from the edge for years. Sure, I could stand here and tell him how lost I would be now without him but he’d given me so much throughout the years it was time to give him one final thing in return. One piece of truth his soul could take with him on his journey.

I laid my hand over his chest, feeling the cold beneath the sheet against my warm hand.

Life and Death.

Such a fucked up thing.

“I promise you I’m going to own my responsibilities. I’ll be the father you always wanted for yourself and the one you wanted to be some day. It’s only fair since you lost your life, I will do everything in my power to do something the both of us wanted. I may not have known it right away, because you were always quicker to learn what you wanted out of life than I was, but usually we shared the same goals. I’ll be the father both of us never had and every day I look at my kid, God willing, I’ll think of you and the ultimate sacrifice you made for me,” I said hoarsely, hoping God didn’t make me out to be a liar.

Please let Pea survive.

“My kid will always know who you are. Always,” I vowed as my voice caught in my throat. “And any good I get to teach him is because I’ve learned it from you. Got one more promise for you, and it’s big so, listen up…” I said, drawing in a shaky breath as I leaned over his body. “I’m going to make the motherfucker who did this pay. I promise you. I fucking promise you with everything I am, I will get him. I will be his judge and his jury and I will make him pay for every sin he’s committed, starting with your death.”

I straightened up, patted his chest one final time before shoving both hands into my pockets and taking a step back.

I’ll never forget this moment.

I’ll put men in the ground remembering this exact moment.

I turned around to walk away and leave him to rest but something nagged inside of me. I didn’t want to ask anything of him. He’s given me so much and still I turned around to ask him one last favor, because I’m a greedy fuck. A terrified, greedy fuck.

“If they don’t make it, please take care of them,” I whispered to my friend. Turning once more, I made my way out of the morgue; glancing over my shoulder to catch one last glimpse of the man I was always proud to call my brother.

“Love you, my brother. See you soon,” I rasped, before closing the door behind me and coming face to face with the doctor again.

“These are his belongings,” he said, handing me a clear bag. I opened it and pulled out his leather cut stained with his blood. I fisted my hand around the leather and glanced at the rest of the stuff in the bag before handing it back to the doctor.

I walked to the bank of elevators clutching Bones’ cut, stepping inside the first one that opened and when the doors closed I drove my fist into one of the walls, my scream echoing off the walls of the elevator.

---