Page 104 of The Tempted

Chapter Eight

2010

I keep picturing her face after the impact of the crash, the stillness of her features, the blood gushing from her temple. I can still hear my own cries ringing in my ears, begging her to wake up. I remember unbuckling her seat belt, debating on whether I should pull her out of the car; in the end, I held her hand and waited for help. I didn’t know the extent of her injuries and didn’t want to risk moving her. If my actions resulted in further issues or complications for her, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

I held her hand in the ambulance as they worked on her, giving her oxygen, and struggling to get her to regain consciousness. It wasn’t until we arrived at the hospital and they wheeled her away from me that I remembered to mention the baby. I felt like the biggest piece of shit but in my defense, all I could focus on was making sure Adrianna survived.

I don’t know who called Victor and Grace, maybe someone at the scene, or a nurse, but once they showed up, I became invisible. I sat alone, begging someone to tell me something, anything. I was just the boyfriend driving the car that put her in the hospital to begin with, so I got nothing.

Nurses came over and tried to bring me into triage, they said I was bleeding, but I didn’t seem to notice. I couldn’t care less. I wasn’t going anywhere without finding out how Adrianna and our kid were doing. Jesus, I thought, realizing that none of this could be good for the baby.

I hadn’t thought much about becoming a father, didn’t think I was cut out to be a dad. I didn’t have a father, didn’t even have a father figure to pretend was my dad. What kind of dad would I make? Let’s not mention the fact I was a fucking criminal, surrounded by criminals and illegal dealings. Then there was the fact I had cut a deal with the devil and was about to be incarcerated. I couldn’t be anybody’s father but here I was praying to God that my kid would make it.

Somewhere between Adrianna telling me we would be having a baby and sitting here in this hospital, I became a man worrying about the wellbeing of his family. A man who didn’t know whether he was coming or going but was never more sure about anything in his life then wanting to meet his child. It was crazy how this unborn child became the second most important person in my life, the first being his mother.

I got lost in my thoughts, trying to picture what our baby would look like, desperate to conjure an image of Adrianna holding him or her. I could picture us having a daughter, God’s way of paying me back for every sin I ever committed. Damn, I bet she’d be the most beautiful little girl I ever laid eyes on. I wouldn’t mind a son either; it would give me the opportunity to teach him all the things my father never taught me. Whatever we have, I just pray it’s healthy, that’s all that matters.

“Anthony…,” Grace whispered, laying her hand on my shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts. I lifted my bloodshot eyes to hers and see she has been crying, but more than that, she looks pained by the words she has to deliver. I glanced over her shoulder at Victor who is standing alongside a doctor, nodding slightly before bowing his head.

I don’t know what I’m about to hear but by the expressions on the faces that surround me I imagine it’s not good. I hunch over and it takes me a minute to realize I’m crying. I don’t remember the last time I shed a single tear. Grace wraps an arm around my shoulders and tries to get me to pay attention to her but I don’t want to hear what she has to say. I try to stall not wanting to listen to the words I dread. I shrug her arm off me and rise to my feet, stumbling a bit, lightheaded, almost as if I’m having an out of body experience.

Grace calls for Victor, probably hoping he could reign me in, the bastard doesn’t have a shot in hell, but he remains where he stands. Her efforts wasted. I watched him shake the doctor’s hand and then look over at me. His face is blank, there is no emotion, no sorrow, nothing.

I finally turn to Grace.

“Adrianna?” I croak.

“She will be okay,” Grace whispered, reaching for my hand.

I swallow as she gives it a squeeze.

“The baby?” I asked hoarsely. It didn’t even dawn on me, she has most likely just found out about Adrianna’s pregnancy.

“I’m sorry Anthony but they couldn’t get a heartbeat,” she murmurs through her tears.

I stare at her for a moment, trying to process her words.

“They will give her a DNC, it’s a procedure to…,” her words trail off and she shakes her head. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.

I pulled my hand away from hers and glanced between her and Victor. I let out a whimper realizing I lost a child, a child I never knew, a child that never had a chance. Grace tries to reach for me but I walk away and lean against the wall.

I’ll never be able to explain the way I felt in that moment. I can try but nothing I say will come close to the hell I was living. I balled my hands into fists, anger spreading throughout my body like an uncontained fire. I snapped my head backwards, crashing the back of my skull into the wall, trying to divert the pain in my chest to somewhere else in my body. It felt as if my chest was cracking open and someone put my heart in a vice. I slammed my head against the wall again and again…but the pain wasn’t dulling the ache in my heart.

I was standing at the foot of Adrianna’s bed when she stirred. Victor had tried to ban me from being with her when she woke up but I told him I’d do everything he wanted, no questions asked, no arguments - however, I would not allow another to tell Adrianna the news, I would be the one to tell her we had lost our baby. Grace agreed with me and Vic backed off. I wonder if she knows of Vic’s plan for me to go to jail and to commit murder. Which makes me wonder if she knows what kind of animal her husband truly is or what kind of animal I am about to become.

Adrianna’s eyes flutter open and she looks all around frantically. I quickly step to the side of her bed so she can see me, taking her hand in mine. It’s funny I never noticed how big my hand was compared to hers.

“It’s okay Reese’s, I’m here,” I whisper.

“Anthony,” she murmurs and I bend my head to kiss her knuckles.

“What happened to you?”

She asks with concern on her face.

“Your eye,” she questions.

“It’s nothing,” I whisper, not even sure what she’s talking about. I sit on the edge of her bed and lean over, tucking away the fallen stands of her hair from her face. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, even now with a piece of gauze taped to her temple. “Do you remember what happened?” I ask, forcing my words pass the lump in my throat.

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