Page 716 of The Tempted

“I went to visit your father,” I pause, offering Nikki a smile. “I showed him the photograph of your engagement and told him all about it. He was so happy for you and Michael. He made me promise to tell you to pick out the wedding dress of your dreams.”

I take a moment to keep myself in check, to keep the tears at bay and the emotion buried, reminding myself this isn’t about me. It’s not about my feelings but rather my girls, our girls. Nikki glances down, toying with her engagement ring before looking back at me.

“It fucking sucks he won’t be at my wedding,” she admits, turning to her sister. “It was fitting your son gave you away to Anthony, the three of you were becoming a family.” She violently wipes away a tear.

“And you’ll have me to walk you down the aisle,” I interject. “He asked me to do that you know, to walk you down the aisle, to give your hand to Michael with his blessing.”

“I still feel guilty,” Nikki whispers. “I still blame myself for him being in there.”

“The only one who should be blamed is me,” Adrianna argues. “I’m the one who pulled the trigger. I’m the one who did the crime he confessed to committing. If anyone is to blame for daddy not being at your wedding, it’s me, and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I took that from you,” she cries.

“Stop it! Both of you stop it,” I insist, inching forward to take their hands in mine. “Your father is in jail because he deserves to be, because for the last thirty years your father has done a lot of bad things. I never wanted to admit that, especially not to you girls but what’s the use in hiding it when both of you have witnessed him in action, both of you have suffered at the hands of his organization. That was too much for your father to handle, his conscience too heavy with guilt to continue as he was. It was his choice to turn himself in and his alone. Does that mean you should blame him? No, it means he finally earned the respect he always craved. You can be hurt, you’re entitled to be, but you should always have respect for the man who gave his freedom for us to live a life free of his sins. Your father loves you both so much,” I assure, turning to Adrianna and then to Anthony before I continue.

“He is so proud of you two and those babies you created,” I smile, cocking my head as my gaze settles on my son-in-law. “He’s grateful for you.”

Anthony takes a deep breath before giving me a slight nod of his head, showing his appreciation for my words. Anthony wasn’t a man who needed gratification from anyone but having Victor’s appreciation was closure for him. He never wanted to hate Victor, he looked up to him, but my husband was threatened by Anthony’s hold over our daughter’s heart.

“Did you show him Victoria’s picture?” Adrianna asks.

“I did,” I say, looking back at her. “Just as beautiful as her mama.”

“You didn’t call us here to recap your visit,” Nikki whispers. “You’re stalling, ma,” she accuses.

“Your father’s being transferred to a federal prison in North Carolina two weeks from Friday,” I reveal, pausing to gage their reactions.

“I knew that,” Anthony confesses, turning to Adrianna. “That means we need to get you two up to see him at least once before he gets on that bus,” he tells them, knowing all about the last hit Victor was going to commit. Maybe he didn’t fade as much as we all thought he did.

The last hit.

Another promise he’d keep but to the men in leather this time.

“What’s the urgency?” Nikki asks. “I mean I get it, North Carolina isn’t a hop, skip and a jump away but you’re making it like once he gets on that bus we won’t be able to visit him anymore,” she continues.

“He’s being transferred but his visitation will be revoked shortly after he’s gotten his new number,” Anthony explains.

“Why would they do that? Has he done something to get his privileges taken away?” she asks as she looks back and forth between us.

“Your father’s connections will not hold any merit down south,” he answers vaguely.

“Anthony’s right, you need to go visit your father,” I whisper, clearing my throat in hope to find my voice. “I don’t know how the transfer will work but I’m sure you know what you’re talking about,” I say to him, before drawing in a breath. “However, that’s not the reason youneedto go.”

I don’t know why my eyes drift to our wedding photo hanging on the wall over the fireplace but they did and I continue to stare at it wishing I could hear his voice, wishing for him to hold my hand and be with me as I say the words that seal our fate.

A woman could wish all she wants, doesn’t mean those wishes will come true. I’ve had my share come true and now it’s time to turn the lamp to someone else. I hope they have better luck than I did. I hope their wishes never turn to burdens.

This was my burden to carry alone.

The burden of truth.

“Visit your father as much as you can over the next two weeks, let him know how much he means to you and reassure him that you forgive him. Promise you’ll never forget him and will always keep him in your hearts. Remind him that you’re happy and swear you’ll take care of each other. Say goodbye to your dad and remember you’ll always be daddy’s little girls,” I whisper, finally peeling my eyes away from the photo on the wall and finding the courage to face Adrianna and Nikki. “Tell him it’s okay and that he can be at peace,” I cry, blinking away the tears I tried so hard to hang on to but the words I was asking my daughters to tell their father were also the words I’d have to say myself.

I’m not ready for goodbye.

I’m not ready for the end.

“Victor’s sick,” I sob.

“What do you mean sick?” Adrianna yelps. “Sick as in he’s dying?”

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