Page 674 of The Tempted

Come on!

I lean over the edge of the roof and I’m pretty sure my eyes fucking explode in their sockets as they land on the fucking circus parked in my driveway.

Gina’s beehive hairdo was extra fucking high, teased two feet in the air as she bats her fake eyelashes and waves up at me. I guess I should be grateful the fucking lady wasn’t wearing a bra and bloomers like the last time I saw her. Red was waving too—waving a gun.

Bert, that poor bastard was unloading the fucking car. Unloading the fucking car!

This must be what having a stroke feels like.

“Nikki,” I shout, pulling at my hair. I move to back away from the edge, desperate to erase the image of ‘Sophia and Dorothy Petrillo’ from my brain but my jeans catch on one of the nails I hadn’t yet hammered down. I tug my leg free, lose my balance and nearly falling off the fucking roof. In a last ditch effort to save my ass, I grab onto the gutter.

“Oh my God! We have a jumper,” Gina shrieks. “Mikey, baby, please! Gina’s here, we’ll get through it.”

“I’m not jumping off the roof you whack job! I saw you and I fucking slipped,” I call down to her.

“That is the sweetest thing I ever heard,” she says, elbowing Bert in the gut. “How come you never did that?”

“Hang off a roof?” Bert asks confused.

“Nikki,” I shout again. Where the hell is she?

“Jump, boy! Big Red’s got you,” Red yells, dropping her straw bag and tucking her gun into whatever cleavage she has left. She spreads her arms wide as if she is going to catch me before Gina pushes her aside and copies her stance.

“I’ve got him!”

“What the hell is going on?” Nikki questions.

I peek down at her, watching as she freezes in her tracks and takes in the fucking festivities.

“Aunt Gina. Nana. What…what are you doing here?”

“We’re here for the party,” Gina exclaims, looking over her shoulder before bringing her eyes back to me. “Mikey, did your ass get tighter since the last time I saw you?”

“What party?” Nikki asks.

“Hey, Princess, think you can help me get down from the roof before we ask the crazies anymore questions?” I holler, banging my forehead against the gutter in frustration.

“Sorry, babe! I’ll go get the ladder.”

“Boy don’t need a ladder. I’ve got my arms wide open ready to catch him,” Red insists.

The mother and daughter duo continue to bicker over who would be my savior as Nikki comes back, dragging the ladder behind her. She and Bert prop up the ladder along the side of the house and I worked my way over to it.

“Easy, baby,” Nikki calls as she holds the ladder in place and I start my descent. I did contemplate staying up on the roof thinking that a sun burn was safer than the fate that awaited me down below.

Stepping off the ladder, I turn to Nikki.

“What are they doing here?”

“I have no idea,” she hisses, plastering a smile on her face turning back to her relatives. “What a nice surprise.”

Bullshit.

“Even though my heart is broken I had to come,” Gina explains, reaching for Nikki’s left hand and inspecting the ring I put on her finger. “You did good, Mikey,” she approves, turning Nikki’s hand every which way to look at the diamond from every angle. “That’s some rock. Ma, come look at the rock,” she orders.

Wiping my hands over my face as Red scurries over, I blow out a ragged breath and watch the old lady snatch Nikki’s hand.

“Did you get it appraised? I know a guy who can do an insurance job. You give me the ring we’ll say the house was robbed and you can collect.”

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