Page 6 of Inevitable Dream

Iwas going to leave Sadie alone to sleep, but not long after Falcon dropped us off and left, Sadie started crying in her sleep. I tried to wake her from her nightmare, but she held on to me so tightly that I crawled in beside her and held her. She immediately stopped crying and fell back into a solid sleep.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen sweet Sadie, bossy Sadie, funny Sadie, but this Sadie, battered and hurting, is killing me. It makes me want to find this guy and take a bat to him. She looks so vulnerable; it hurts my heart to see her this way.

It’s good to see her eat. She finished the entire bowl and a buttered roll. I was pretty hungry too. I missed breakfast because I made Falcon take me to her. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see when I got there. My mind had me thinking the worst, and as bad as it is, I know it could have been worse.

“Rebel, are you okay?” Sadie asks, reaching across the table to cover my hand with her own. “You have a funny expression on your face.”

“As bad as you feel, I’m just happy that you’re here,” I say.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not sure now is the time.”

“I have nothing but time right now,” she answers.

I take her hand and lead her from the table to the sofa. I tuck myself into the corner of the sofa and lean Sadie into me, then launch into my story. It’s not one that I hide, but it’s rare that I talk about my past. The most important people in my life know my history, and that’s all that matters.

“I grew up with abusive parents. I have two older sisters, Jessica and Janie. They’re great and I love them to pieces, and they love their little brother. Both are married. Jessica has three kids: two boys and a girl, all under the age of seven. Janie and her husband are expecting their first kid. They chose to adopt, and they’re getting their little boy in a couple of weeks. They didn’t know if they wanted children, and when they decided they did, they went the adoption route. It took them a long time to get past the physical and emotional abuse of our childhood. I got out as soon as I could and joined the military. It separated me from my sisters, but I needed to get away. We were lost from each other for a long time, but finally found ourselves again.”

“Your sisters sound pretty great. I’m an only child. I was an oopsy baby,” Sadie tells me with a smile.

“I’ll share my sisters and my rambunctious niece and nephews,” I reply, causing her to laugh. She immediately flattens her palms to her ribs. “Okay, no more jokes until you’re better.”

“Go on. Tell me more,” she urges.

“Like I was saying, I had a had a shit time growing up. Then, one day, my life changed forever. I made the decision to leave, and I was gone. Didn’t write or nothing. I wanted to forget. Thing is, you can’t. Those memories are burned in me forever. I just had to find a way to deal.” I pause, letting out a heavy breath. “My parents were killed when a drunk driver crashed head-on into their vehicle, killing them both on impact. It’s weird but I still felt sadness. I guess I was hoping that one day, we could build a relationship. But, in reality, that probably wasn’t going to happen.”

Sadie gasps loudly, clutching my hand and squeezing tightly. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, tears welling up.

I cup her cheek. “Don’t cry for me, sweetheart. It was a long time ago. I’ve moved past it. My sisters were just starting their jobs. They found their way out, and I wanted mine. I joined the army and got my education anyway. That’s where I met Falcon, Wire, Phoenix, and Bull. There’s another brother who’s finishing his last tour of duty. We’re all waiting for his return. We also lost a brother. He never made it home. Cory was married to Kailyn. He was a big part of our lives. Then Kailyn and Phoenix got together, and, well, that’s a story all in itself.”

“It’s good that she found love again, right?”

“Yeah, babe. It is.” My time in the army enlightened me to the cruelties in the world. I can’t say bad shit didn’t happen to me, because growing up with an abusive father and a mother too scared to do anything about it was devastating, but the atrocities of war are another level of ugliness that I wasn’t prepared for.

It’s something that I never want to touch Sadie, and yet, if we’re going to do this, she needs to know what kind of man I am and accept me as I am.

“Sadie, there’s a side of me that only my brothers have seen. We’ve been together over ten years and eight of those were serving together in the same unit. Falcon led our unit then, and he leads us now. But back then, I was younger and unprepared for what was to come. Phoenix and Falcon, they kept me sane.” Sadie looks at me with sadness in her eyes. “I’ve seen and done things that I have to live with for the rest of my life. The army recruiters tell you that we’re fighting to promote freedom and to create a fair and just world. What they don’t prepare you for is the burning villages, the people walking around scrounging for food. Or about the children in rags and women who’ve been raped and tortured, and when you want to help them, they scream and cry because they’re terrified that you’ll be the next one to hurt them.”

“You’d never do that,” she whispers.

“They don’t know that, babe.” I run my hand over my face and persevere. “I’ve killed people. Lots of them. I did it to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. When Falcon first wanted to start Storm Enterprises, I wasn’t sure I wanted in. He sat me down and told me that we all decide what cases to take on and we all need to agree. Falcon understood where I was coming from and made me realize that bad shit was going to happen, whether I wanted it to or not. I could be part of the solution, or I could bury my head in the sand. I made the right decision. I’m where I’m supposed to be,” I finish.

Sadie gives me a sweet smile. “I’m glad you see how important what you do is. From what I’ve heard from Falcon, you’re great at your job, and you and the team have saved more lives than you’ve taken. That’s something to be proud of.”

“My job can be dangerous and takes me away for days and sometimes weeks at a time.”

“I kind of got that when I was asked to look after a man with a gunshot wound,” she teases. “I work shift hours, and when I get into the hospital, I might be pulling fourteen-hour shifts. There are days when I come home, and I don’t have the energy to do anything and end up sleeping through most of the day. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give up doing what I love. It does mean that anyone who is with me needs to accept that as part of who I am.”

Now, it’s my turn to smile.

“Love this heart-to-heart, sweetheart. I think you get my meaning, right?” I ask.

“It’s about balance, Rebel. There’s you, there’s me, and we need to find a way for an ‘us’ to happen if it’s meant to be,” she says quietly.

“I want to kiss you the way I want so badly, but I don’t want to hurt you. This will have to do.” I hold her face gently in my hands and press my lips lightly to hers in a soft kiss, then proceed to pepper her face with sweet butterfly kisses until she giggles.

There’s a knock at the door and muffled voices growing louder as I go to answer.

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