Page 69 of Scotch & Shortbread

“Thank you for opening up to me." Quinn said softly. "I didn't understand what had happened between us. It had all felt so good and then it came to a crashing halt. It was so confusing."

“God, lass I'm sorry. I ken I should huv talked to ye, but at the time, I felt almost paralyzed. I thought if ye were gone, I could somehow right myself.” He shook his head still not understanding it himself.

“And did you? Right yourself?” Quinn asked soberingly.

“Naw, I didnae, not in the way I thought I would. For years, I huv kept a wall up and made sure not to let any lass in. I didnae want to put my faith in any woman again. Even my coworkers joked that I was immune to women. It had begun to feel true. I wasnae affected by lasses. I had no interest. Until ye came along.” He eyed her, but she just listened without saying a word. It unnerved him since Quinn was usually so talkative, but he carried on, needing to get it all off his chest. “Ye were right Quinn, about Kate. I always thought she was my past, but the truth was, she was still affecting my life.” He shook his head, realizing the absurdity of it as he spoke the words out loud.

“The past is the past, and I’ve come to peace with mine. But I suppose what she put me through had a lasting effect. I didnae want to be played the fool ever again. I didnae want my life to be in another’s hands. Even though logically I knew no one would ever do to me what she did, I still viewed having a woman in my life as a complication. I refused to let anyone in. I didnae want to feel things again for a woman or to huv any involvement for that matter. My life felt good the way it was. It felt safe, and I was in control of it.”

“And now?” he could hear the uncertainty in her soft voice.

“Now? Now, the only thing I fear is losing ye,” he said matter-of-factly.

Quinn’s eyes widened as she sucked in a breath.

“With ye, Quinn, it is not about feeling thingsagain. It's more like I didnae ken these feelings could exist at all. It's like I've broken free from a prison I'd made for myself. And it's all because of ye."

Her eyes were misty with unshed tears. Alex didn't want to make her cry, but he did want to get it all out. He owed her that. “The time we spent together was,” he stopped to think how to put it into words, “extraordinary. Otherworldly. I dinnae ken the last time I felt so happy and more myself. Ye reminded me who I am, Quinn West.” Now she looked as though she was actively trying to hold back the tears, but Alex wasn't finished yet.

“I acted cowardly on Christmas Day.” His voice was gruff. “And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry fer it.”

“It wasn’t cowardly, Alex.” She took in a shaky breath. “It hurt and in the moment I was angry and confused, but at the same time, I understood. I knew why you put the walls up.” She put her hand in his and for the first time, he felt the hint of relief trickle over him.

“It’s not okay, though. The truth is I didnae want to put up walls with ye. Not ever. What I love most about ye is that I can be myself.” He squeezed her small hand in his.

40

Truth and Taunting

Quinnsuckedinabreath. He said “love.” She shouldn’t get ahead of herself, but there was that word. Did he love her? His hand squeezed hers.

“Could ye forgive me fer the way I behaved?”

“Forgiven.” The word slipped out and she meant it whole heartedly.

Quinn never expected Alex to open up to her this way and she still wasn’t sure what it meant for the two of them, but it felt pretty damn good that the walls were down—and by the sounds of it not just down, but gone. At least with her. The fact that he could speak with her what was on his mind so openly and honestly was a testament to that.

Alex let out a breath as if he’d been holding it. “Ach, thank God, I’m truly sorry, Quinn. I will never shut ye out again. Ye have my word lass.” His eyes were intense on hers as he squeezed her hand in his.

Quinn’s heart was bursting. His words meant the world to her. She believed him. Somewhere deep inside, she knew she could trust what he was saying. God, all she wanted to do was sit in his arms and kiss his handsome face, but his police truck made that a bit awkward. The console was a plethora of electronics.

Alex seemed to sense the direction of her thoughts, and right on cue, someone came over his radio. “Mackenzie, are you headed back to the station?”

Alex pressed a button and answered. “Aye, I’ll be there at 1900 hours.”

“Ten-four.”

He leaned back in his seat and looked at her. “I huv to get the truck back to the station. Will ye come back and stay at my place tonight?” There was a sweet hopeful look in his stormy blue eyes.

She nodded a smile touching her lips.

“Ah shite,” he groaned, throwing his head back in his seat.

“What?”

“Lachlan, my brother.” He looked at her subdued. “He’s at my place.”

“Oh right, I met him. We actually had a really great afternoon together.”

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