Page 48 of Scotch & Shortbread

As he stepped onto the ladder to go down, he glanced back at her. “Come on, lass. ’Tis a long story. I’ll add some logs to the fire and get us some whisky.”

“Cookies, too,” she said as she got up to follow him down. “Cookies make everything better.”

A warm smile touched his lips, and her insides quivered.

Alex brought the bottle of scotch and two glasses to the little table that sat between the two chairs in front of the fireplace. Quinn set out some of her shortbread on a plate and brought it over as well.

“Ooh, you know what we need?” Her brown eyes lit with excitement, and Alex felt his heart grip in his chest. The lass was stunning.

Without saying more, she went to where her backpack sat near the end of the settee and dug around in it. A moment later, she triumphantly held up two candy canes. “Ha, ha!” she said jubilantly as she headed towards where Alex was already seated in one of the chairs by the fireplace.

Swallowing hard as he recalled the last time he’d seen her with a candy cane, he leaned towards the table in front of him, added a healthy splash of the amber scotch to each of their glasses, and downed his in one gulp.

Glancing at him wide-eyed, Quinn put one of the candy canes on the table in front of him. She sat down in the chair across from him, and unwrapped her own candy cane, and popped the end into her mouth. The way her lips tugged at it appreciatively made Alex have to adjust himself in his seat.Christ.

“I thought you said you never shoot scotch.” She looked at him with a perfectly arched brow as she tucked her legs up on the chair, getting comfortable.

“Aye, unless the occasion calls fer it,” Alex stated bluntly. He would let her assume that the occasion he referred to was their pending conversation and not the habit she seemed to have to suck on candy canes like she could make them come. Pouring himself another splash of scotch, he swirled the glass in his hand and stared into the warm glow of the crackling fire, silently begging it to distract him away from her mouth.

Alex had already downed his second glass of scotch, but instead of relaxing, he could feel tension building in him. Thankfully abandoning the candy cane, Quinn picked up her glass of whisky and sipped at it. Big innocent eyes looked at him expectantly.

Alex had kept his past to himself for so long that it was hard to know even where to start. Many were aware of his story, even though he’d never spoken of it to anyone. As much as his muscles clenched just thinking about it, there was a part of him that felt almost giddy to finally be able to speak it all out loud. He didn’t have an answer as to why he was willing—no, wanting—to tell the woman seated across from him. Perhaps it was the situation, being stuck here alone with her. Just Quinn West and himself. He eyed her over the rim of his glass. Not knowing the why of it, he took a deep breath and started to tell Quinn the thing that had changed his entire life.

“There was a lass,” he said. “Kate.” After all these years, he expected her name to be bitter on his tongue. It wasn’t though. Now it was just a name. A name of someone who was long gone.

“The one in the picture?” Quinn asked gently.

Alex looked at her big brown eyes watching him intently. “No,” he said without explanation. He wasn’t going to get into the photo now. This was about Kate and the hell she’d put him through.

“Oh,” she said, tucking her knees up a little bit snugger under her.

“I was in special ops in Scotland, and Kate Cameron was my superior.” He looked down as he rolled the scotch in his glass, the firelight catching on the etched crystal.

“It was my dream job.” He smiled faintly at the memory. “I worked my arse off back then, doing anything and everything I could to prove myself, to be better—to stand out from the rest. My hard work paid off, and I rose through the ranks quicker than most. I was one of the best on the force, if not the best for a time.” There was no arrogance or pride in his voice, only truth.

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Quinn smiled lightly.

Alex looked up at her, wondering why it felt like this lass who barely knew him seemed to see him so definitively like she understood who he was.

“Kate was the chief constable which is the highest rank you can hold in the Scottish police force. Somehow, I fell on her radar, and she took notice of me.” He paused for a moment taking a sip of his scotch. “And I took notice of her. For such a high rank, she was quite young. Back then, I was in awe of her. Everything about her made her seem unattainable like she was some kind of queen and we were just the people beneath her. She had it all, from her rank, her intelligence, and her beauty, and she was respected by everyone. The woman held all the cards, all the power.”

Listening intently, Quinn thought this Kate woman sounded like a unicorn, almost too perfect, but she could see there was anguish in Alex’s face when he talked about her. She could almost feel the heaviness. Obviously, things didn’t work out with Kate and Alex, and Quinn began to wonder if the anguish she could see was Alex wishing it had. The thought sat like a rock in Quinn’s belly. Here in this cabin, it was just her and Alex, but in the real world, it was also Kate and the woman in the picture—and kids.

Quinn knew she had no right to be bothered by any of it. She wasn’t anything to Alex, just some woman he was stuck with over Christmas, but she couldn’t deny the hollow forming in her chest. Quickly, she downed her scotch, trying to stomp out the feelings whirring in her. As Alex refilled her glass, he carried on telling her his story.

“When Kate started to single me out, I eagerly fell under her spell.” He shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it had happened. “She was several years older than me. I could claim to being naive, but I wasnae. I knew what I was getting into with her. She was my boss. I knew I was playing with fire. The truth was her attention was like a drug. The more I got, the more I wanted.”

White hot jealousy fluttered in Quinn’s chest. Despite feeling things she had no right to feel, she wanted him to tell her everything. There was no doubt in her mind that what he was telling her about Kate was something that profoundly affected his life. Quinn sensed that he needed to talk about it, and for whatever reason, she felt like she needed to hear it.

“I look back now and wonder how I could have been so caught up. She lavished praise on me, and I ate it up like a starved dog. I began to crave her praise. I wanted to do anything and everything to please her.”

Quinn understood what he was saying. It was a toxic feeling she knew all too well. “I get it,” she said. “I know exactly what you are talking about. Well, maybe not exactly, but I understand that desperate desire to please someone just to feel their love. It used to be that way with my mom. There was nothing better in the world than when my mom showered me with her love because of something I’d done for her. It was all about her. I was so desperate for her love that I would have done anything.”

“I’m sorry, lass. ’Tis not right what ye went through.”

“It’s not right what you went through either by the sound of it.”

“Aye, but I was an adult and made stupid decisions. Ye were a child just wanting yer mother’s love. ’Tis wrong, lass.”

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