Page 6 of Self Expression

Fuck, I wanted to hear from him.

The fourth cup of coffee gave me the final burst of energy I needed to put my computer away and head out for a jog. Just being outside in the fresh air gave me the perspective I needed to let work be work and life take a front seat again. For way too long, I’d been going through each day as if I had an unlimited number ahead of me and I could wait for some time in the future to find happinesses. But after the taste of happiness I felt in that elevator, I knew I couldn’t deny my needs any longer. I didn’t want to.

The muscles between my shoulder blades untensed as I finished my fifth mile and ended up back in front of my house. It was almost noon, but I’d already put in a full day of work while our logistics issues were resolved, so I considered myself completely clocked out. Especially since I was supposed to be taking a paid day off from work.

Once I was inside the house, I stripped off my shirt, pulled the shades down, and leaned into the pump as I drained everything that had built up since Lincoln emptied me just over twelve hours earlier. Normally, I saved the milk in jars to take to the milk bank or just dumped it down the sink. I had no real use for it myself and didn’t know anyone personally who might want it.

But now that I knew Lincoln might want it, it felt wasteful to just waste it. Instead, I expressed every drop I could and then filled a thermos of my own with the warm milk.

The way Lincoln had cradled his water bottle like it held liquid gold gave me the courage to reach out to him. I snapped a picture of the thermos and sent a text.I’ve got some extra. Interested?

When my phone buzzed with a response, I held my breath and read Lincoln’s reply.Definitely. I already drank what you gave me. Couldn’t save it. It was so good.

How about food? I haven’t had lunch and was thinking of picking up something. I can bring it over.I wasn’t directly asking for a date, but a meal and a snack was hard to misinterpret.

I’m watching cartoons in my jammies. I could eat, but my apartment is a mess. If you don’t mind that, come on over.

Send your address. Pizza, burgers, or noodles? I’m up for anything.Just knowing I would see him soon had my anticipation in overdrive.

I’d always imagined having a Little in my life, a boy who relied on me for companionship and care, but I never expected to find one at work. Lincoln and I didn’t work closely together, but we were in the same building, which was almost too good to be true. If it worked out. If it didn’t, that could be awkward. But I was a glass-half-full kinda guy, and I wasn’t going to sabotage my chances with Lincoln before even trying.

I was gonna order chicken tenders and fries from Cluckers, but I’m not picky.

I grinned as I imagined him digging into nuggets and fries.Cluckers it is. It’ll be about an hour.

After a shower and quickly tidying up my apartment, I headed to Cluckers for enough food to feed us for the weekend. I didn’t expect to stay for more than an hour or two, but I wanted to be prepared for anything. Just in case he wanted me to stay for a while…or forever.

When I finally pulled into a guest parking spot at Lincoln’s complex, my nerves were tight again with anticipation for how the afternoon would go. I sent a text to let him know I was here.

He’d given me the apartment number, but I didn’t want to startle him. As I was walking up the steps to his door, I got a response.Just in time.

Lincoln answered the door in a dark blue romper that was covered in stars and moons and waved me inside. “Don’t judge my mess. I’m anti-adulting this weekend.”

I chuckled and slipped off my shoes as soon as I was inside. I wasn’t sure if he cared or not, but since most of the floor in his front room was covered in blankets and pillows and stuffed animals, I didn’t want to track in any dirt. “No judgment here. This looks like a great way to spend the day.”

“Weekend.” He reached for the bag of food in my hand and dropped it onto his coffee table. “No computer. No car keys. And no big decisions until Monday morning.” He opened the bag and inhaled. “Mmm, this smells yummy.”

“Great suggestion, by the way.” I stood on the edge of his little nest and waited for an invitation to invade his space. “I haven’t been to Cluckers in years.”

“You’ve missed out.” Lincoln patted the space beside him. “Have a seat unless you need a plate or silverware.”

“Nope, I’m good.” I dropped down next to him and propped a big pillow behind my back for support. “This is all finger-food, all the way.”

A Disney movie was paused, so it didn’t interrupt us as we divided up the food and tucked in.

“I don’t know if you want to save this for later…” I slid the thermos I’d brought across the table so it was in front of Lincoln. “But it’s warm now, so…”

“Now, please.” He unscrewed the lid and took a big gulp from the bottle. “I shoulda got the spicy tenders. The milk woulda been even better if my mouth was on fire.”

I shook my head and smiled as my heart squeezed in my chest. “Maybe we can do spicy for dinner? There’s a great Thai place nearby that doesn’t know the meaning of mild.”

Lincoln ran his tongue across his lower lip and grinned. “You’re gonna stay for dinner too?”

“We’ll see how things go.” I winked. “You might be sick of me by the end of our chicken.”

His eyes were locked on mine, completely open and vulnerable. “I don’t think I will be, but I’m glad you’re planning for our future.”

7

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