Page 87 of Falling Together

What the hell? How could Erin have missed that? Wasn’t that a pretty important conversation to have with someone before, oh, I don’t know, starting a family? “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I’m sure you realize this, but I’m pretty awful at communicating. When we first met, I fell so hard and fast for you. And it only got stronger from there. I thought if I loved you enough, I could also love having a family with you, so I decided to keep it to myself that I didn’t actually want kids. Every step of the way, I kept telling myself I’d get there. Maybe I just needed to feel the baby kick. Maybe I just needed to hold him. But nothing worked. I felt so detached from him. I even resented him, because he took you away from me. And then I resented you, because it felt like you loved him more. When I left, I didn’t even miss him. I missed you, of course. How couldn’t I? You were such a big part of my life for so long. But if I’m being completely honest, I was too relieved to let it get to me too much. And I realize that makes me a terrible fucking person, but I can’t help it.”

Erin didn’t know whether to scream or cry. While she knew Bianca clearly didn’t feel attached to Nolan, hearing her say it out loud pissed her the fuck off. How could anyone meet that kid and not love him, especially his own flesh and blood who was there from the time he was made?

“Are you totally pissed now?” Bianca asked into the silence.

“I’m just trying to figure out how someone could meet my son and not realize how fucking amazing he is. Honestly, I feel bad for you. You’re the one who’s missing out.”

“Maybe I am, but I had to do what was right. I did a lot of selfish things, but leaving was the least of them. Nolan deserves two moms who love him as much as you do.”

Erin immediately pictured Blair playing with Nolan, the love shown all over her face as the two of them laughed together. She was so worried about Blair ending up to be like Bianca, she missed what was so obvious. Blair was nothing like Bianca. Not because she was a good person who stepped up for a child she was not responsible for, but becauseshewas the one Erin was meant to spend her life with. Things were meant to fall apart so something so much better could come together. Erin couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been.

She completely forgot Bianca was on the phone until she heard her chuckle. “So, do you hate me? Are you plotting my murder?”

“I could never hate you. You gave me the greatest gift in the world.” Erin looked in the direction of her sister’s house and smiled when she thought about the little boy inside.

“He’s lucky to have you.”

Erin appreciated the sentiment, but the opinion of the woman who decided to give up the greatest boy in the world meant nothing to her. “You're damn right he is.” Erin laughed at herself and softened her tone. “Thanks for the talk. Good luck with everything.”

“Uh, yeah, you too,” Bianca said hesitantly, as if she was still trying to dissect their conversation. “I hope you find everything you’re looking for.”

“Don’t worry. I have.” Erin brought her fingers to her smiling lips as she hung up the phone without another word.

“Okay, that was amazing,” April said from where she was apparently standingright behindErin. “How are you feeling?”

Erin felt light and free, and as if she was finally seeing clearly. “I feel great.”

April stepped up beside Erin and put her arm around her. “Now that that’s over with, on to more important things.”

“What would that be?” Erin asked even though she already knew. She just wanted to hear April say it.

“Finally getting the girl.”

Finally.

Chapter 28

Blair

Blair was happy she had been able to put all of her worries over her impending talk with Erin aside so she could fully enjoy the giraffe experience with Nolan. This had already been one of the best nights of her life, and she really hoped her talk with Erin made the night even better, instead of worse.

Erin had texted Blair on Sunday to tell her she talked to her ex, but wanted to wait until they could talk in person to tell Blair about it. Unfortunately, Erin was at her sister’s house, so it wasn’t possible to make that talk any sooner. Blair had been feeling positive about their talk until Erin dropped Nolan off at her house a few hours earlier. She was cordial and seemed happy, and Blair wouldn’t exactly say things were awkward between them, but she did find it strange that Erin seemed more interested in talking to her mom than her.

As soon as she got Nolan into his car seat, her phone rang. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

“Hey, sweetie! I was wondering if it would be okay if I took Nolan for ice cream when you two are done at the zoo.”

Blair looked at her watch. It was starting to get kind of late, so she wasn’t sure how Erin would feel about that. “Let me call Erin and ask her. If she says it’s cool, I’ll bring him to your house.”

Blair said goodbye to her mom and called Erin next. It took her longer than usual to answer, but right before Blair was expecting it to go to voicemail, she did. “Hey! Everything okay?” Her voice sounded chipper, giving Blair the impression that she wasn’t actually worried.

“Oh yeah. Everything is great. Super random, but my mom just called me to ask if she could take Nolan for ice cream. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course! That sounds wonderful.”

There was something off about Erin’s voice, but Blair couldn’t figure out what it was. “Okay. Awesome. I’ll bring him to your house after we go.”

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