Page 40 of Falling Together

“Of course.” Blair squeezed Erin’s hand, reminding her that she had never let go of it after sitting down.

Instead of letting go now, she squeezed Blair’s hand in return and tried to ignore the shockwaves that the contact sent throughout her body. “I opened up to Bianca about that at some point during our first year together,”almost a year into dating, but Erin wasn’t going to admit that to the girl she had told after only a month.“And she always used to talk about how she couldn’t wait to give me her last name once we got married. Well, we got married, and life got in the way, and I just never did it. I always planned to. I just… I don’t know. That was on me.”

“So, what happened?”

“She kind of pulled a fast one on me after I gave birth. Even though we always talked about giving Nolan her last name and thenactuallygetting my name changed, when they brought us the paperwork for his birth certificate, she said his last name should be mine. I was having some complications, so I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, plus there were other people in the room, so I just went with it. Looking back, I wonder if she already knew she would eventually leave us; like maybe that was some twisted way of trying to make it easier on us when she walked away. No connection, aside from a little boy who has her eyes.” If Erin didn’t love that little boy so much, those eyes would probably haunt her, but she was slowly getting to the point where all she saw when she looked at him washim. Thank god.

Blair sat in silence, looking completely dumbstruck, and Erin worried she had said too much.

“Shit,” Blair said finally. She looked over at the couch where Nolan slept, then back at Erin. “That’s really fucked up. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. You’re not her.”

“You’ve got that fucking right.” She then pointed at Nolan and said, “Anyone who could walk away fromthat little boyhas serious issues.”

The intensity in Blair’s eyes made it clear how much she cared about Nolan, and it made the urge to kiss her come back all over again.

Instead of giving in to that desire, Erin pulled her hand away from Blair’s. “We should probably talk about what almost happened last night.” Erin didn’t want to, but if her past had taught her anything, it was that ignoring something that was right in front of your face only led to heartbreak.

“What almost happened last night?”

Erin was about to panic that she had made the whole thing up in her head until Blair smirked. “I’m just kidding. I know we almost kissed. I was there.”

Erin couldn’t help but laugh as she playfully hit Blair’s shoulder. “You’re such a jerk.”

Blair grabbed ahold of Erin’s arm and held it between them. “Maybe. But I’m the jerk thatyoualmost kissed.”

It was so playful and fun, and in a different world, Erin would have made some comment about how they should turn thatalmostinto the real thing. She would have leaned in and done what she refused to acknowledge she wanted to do since the first time she saw Blair. But this wasn’t a different world. This was the world where every decision she made had an impact on someone else’s life—a very important someone.

She took a deep breath because she knew the next words out of her mouth were going to be words that neither one of them wanted to hear. “I almost crossed a line last night that I shouldn’t cross.”

The smile immediately dropped from Blair’s face, and she let go of Erin’s arm. “Because I’m the babysitter?”

“For so many reasons. I don’t do casual. I can’t. Not when I have Nolan.”

Blair appeared genuinely confused by this comment. “Whoever said that’s what I want?”

“You’re twenty-two, Blair.” Dating Erin involved elements Blair had probably never considered at her young age. Even people who were thesame ageas Erin often had no interest in dating a single mom.

“So? How old were you when you got into your relationship?”

“Twenty-two. But we both know how that turned out.”

“Listen, I know I can’t promise you that nothing will go wrong, but—”

Erin put a hand up to stop Blair. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hear what Blair had to say, but she was afraid if she did, she would end up letting go of all the rules she made for herself when Bianca left. “That’s exactly the problem. For the last year, I told myself if I ever actually dated again, I wouldn’t have the other person meet Nolan until I knew things were very serious between us. Nolan wasn’t as cognizant of what was happening when Bianca left, so he bounced back somewhat quickly. He’s already attached to you. I don’t know what he would do if you ever left.” Erin laughed as she said the words, because she couldn’t believe how she sounded. Blair was supposed to only be his babysitter for the summer. She was putting a lot of pressure on the girl who had just been interested in a summer job. “You asked if this was because you’re the babysitter, but that’s not what it is. The problem is you’re so much more than a babysitter, and if you want to, we’d love to have you in our lives, even after this summer.”

“And I take itin your livesdoesn’t involve kissing.”

Erin couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting to Blair’s lips just at the mention of kissing. She forced them back up and Blair smirked at her. “No. I wish it did, but it can’t.”

Blair shrugged. “Staying in your lives is definitely a good consolation prize. Nolan isn’t the only one who’s gotten attached.”

Blair being so understanding didn’t make it any easier for Erin to stay where she was sitting on the couch and not lean forward to finally find out what those lips tasted like. Luckily, these thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. When Erin took the phone out of her pocket, she saw it was her sister calling.

She held the phone up to show Blair. “Sorry. I need to take this.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

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