Page 34 of A Very Miller-Cooper Life

I gave Jamie a wide-eyed look to try to convey to him that if we didn’t find them immediately, he would probably end up with some household item being broken. He must have understood because he subtly nodded his head before hopping up the stairs two at a time. I hoisted Carter higher up on my waist and tried my best to follow after him as quickly as I could, but it was nearly impossible while holding an extra forty-five pounds.

When I lost track of Jamie, I followed the faint sound of giggles, which only got louder when Jamie’s voice shouted, “What are you doing with my shoe?”

After a few seconds, I found all three of them in Jamie and Ethan’s room, with the closet door open, and a pair of shoes sitting on the floor. “What happened?” I asked as I tried to catch my breath.

Jamie shook his head, but I could tell by the way he was curling his lips into his mouth, that he was trying not to laugh. “These two decided to chew on my shoes as if they were animals.”

What the hell?

Olivia smiled at me innocently and shrugged her shoulders. “Uncle Jamie said he missed Patch chewing on his shoes. We figured this would make him feel better.”

Now I had to work to hold in my laughter as well, becausewhat the actual fuck? Did I literally raise a bunch of animals? Sweet, well-intentioned animals, but for fuck’s sake.I knelt down and let Carter out of my arms to stand next to me, holding her hand while I addressed her brother and sister. “Your uncle Jamie missesPatch. He doesn’t actually miss Patch’s bad behavior.”

Ronan crossed his arms in front of his chest and scrunched up his nose. “Nuh-uh. If that was true, why would he save the shoe?”

I looked at Jamie for backup, but he simply shrugged, clearly just as lost for words as I was. “It’s sentimental.”

Ronan kept his arms crossed and shook his head. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It means that it’s special because it reminds you of something. In this case, that chewed up shoe reminds Uncle Jamie of Patch.”

Ronan uncrossed his arms to throw them in the air. “I don’t get it.”

“Me either.” Olivia pointed into the hallway. “Let’s find something else to do. This is boring.”

Olivia and Ronan ran out of the room while Carter followed slowly behind them. I stood up and let out a long sigh that mixed with the laughter I had been trying to hold in a moment before. “My children. Literal animals. Good god.” I looked around the room and into the hallway that was now eerily quiet. “Speaking of children, where’s your little dude?”

“You mean my ten-year-old who is somehow up to my chin? He’s at the cafe with Ethan. They should be getting home any minute now.”

Like clockwork, I heard the front door open at that very moment. A split second later, there was the sound of little footsteps running through the downstairs and squeals of delight, which I assumed meant my children were now with their uncle and cousin. I watched as Jamie threw his sneakers that my disgusting children had just been chewing on into his closet and then followed him out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

“There’s my girl,” Ethan said as soon as he noticed me. “Or shall I sayParty Planner Extraordinaire?”

When I made my way to the front door, I pushed past my children to give Ethan a hug. “Ugh. Don’t remind me. This is the first time in weeks I’ve gone a few minutes without thinking about it.”

Ethan stepped away from me and pretended he was locking his lips. “Sorry. I’m done. No more reminders about the huge 100th birthday bash you’re throwing this upcoming weekend.”

“Gee, thanks.” I moved my attention from Ethan to the boy standing next to him. “Hey, Finn! How are you, buddy?”

Finn looked down toward the floor, his shaggy brown hair falling in front of his eyes in the process. “I’m good, ma’am. Thank you.”

This was how Finn had acted every time I was around him over the past year while he lived with Ethan and Jamie as they waited for everything to come together to officially adopt him. He was shy and reserved, but at least now, he didn’t seem scared anymore like he did at first.

“Remember what I told you last time?” I asked him. “Call me Aunt Reagan or just Reagan. Honestly, you can even call meassholeif you want. Just notma’am.It makes me feel like my mother-in-law.” I shuddered to try to make my point that thatdefinitelywasn’t a good thing.

This finally made Finn smile and he moved his eyes from the floor to look up at me. “Sorry, Aunt Reagan.”

I waved a hand at him. “No need to apologize. We’re family.”

“You make me say sorry and I’m family,” Olivia said as she crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at me.

I laughed and ruffled her hair. “That’s becauseyoudo things you need to apologize for, like trying to eat Uncle Jamie’s shoes.” When Ethan’s eyes shot toward me to give me a questioning look, I waved my hand at him. “Don’t ask.”

He put both hands in the air. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

***

The week flew by as I worked through all of the last minute party plans. I couldn’t believe it when Charlie sent me a text to say she was on her way. After what only felt like a few minutes (because I was busy finalizing the details of how to get Nana to the rec hall), the front door of Jamie and Ethan’s house opened and Charlie walked in.

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