Page 19 of A Very Miller-Cooper Life

“Well, isn’t this cute?” she said as she looked over the display. “Disney Pride. I love it. Why do you think they chose rainbows?”

I opened and closed my mouth a few times because I wasn’t sure if that was a trick question.Does she even know what this display is for?

She picked up a pair of rainbow Disney ears and put them on, smiling at herself in the mirror as she spun to look at them from all angles. “I love these. I’m going to get them.”

“For… yourself?” Charlie asked. “Mom, you do know this is thePridecollection, right? Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy you want to get them. I’m just surprised.”

“Why would you be surprised, honey? I’m excited to show my Disney pride.”

Charlie wrinkled her nose and furrowed her eyebrows. “Disney pride? As in pride in Disney?”

“Of course.” Her mother waved her hand in front of the display. “That’s what all of this is for, right? Pride in Disney. Must be some sort of anniversary celebration.”

Charlie opened her mouth to respond, but I nudged her in the side to stop her. “That’s exactly what they are for. You should totally buy them.” I had to work to hold back my laughter as I lied through my teeth.

I didn’t feel bad at all when Charlie’s mom added them to the pile of other ears she was buying.If you don’t support your gay children enough to know that rainbows and pride are all about us gays, then you deserve to be lied to.

When I focused my attention on Charlie, I was sad to see that she didn’t seem to find it as funny as I did.Of course.I could have slapped myself. She was disappointed. For a moment, she probably let herself believe that her mom actually wanted to support her.

“I’m sorry she didn’t want the ears for the reason sheshouldwant them.”

Charlie shrugged, a forced smile parting her lips. “It’s okay. I should have known she didn’t realize what they were for. She’s getting better, but she’s far from being a PFLAG mom.”

“She might not actually be one, but she sure does look the part.” I pointed over to where Charlie’s mom was now proudly wearing her rainbow Mickey ears.

Just as I hoped, a real smile replaced Charlie’s fake one. “Have I mentioned how much I love you?”

“Just a few times, but I like to hear it.”

***

When we went back to Magic Kingdom that night with three well-rested kids, Charlie’s mom was still wearing the ears.

Both Jamie and Ethan’s eyes went comically wide when they saw her. “Is Mom wearinggayMickey ears?” Jamie whispered to Charlie at a volume loud enough for me to hear as well.

I put my finger up to my mouth. “Shh. She doesn’t know what they’re for.”

“James, what do you think of my ears?” Mrs. Miller asked in a sing-song voice.

Jamie put both thumbs in the air. “Very nice, Mom. They are very fitting for you. I love them. You should probably wear them all the time.”

“I think I might. I’ve gotten so many compliments.”

For the rest of the week, Charlie’s mom wore those ears proudly (with absolutely no clue what she was proud of). I was pretty sure Mr. Miller was smart enough to figure out what the ears represented, but even he didn’t say anything.

I was starting to believe the ears might be magical since we made it through a whole vacation with my in-laws without any major issues. I was having so much fun. Charlie, Jamie, Ethan, and I had only dipped into the brownies once and it was after our parents and the kids went to sleep one night.

As we got ready for our last night, which we were spending just as we started the week—at Magic Kingdom—I took a deep breath and mentally patted myself on the back for such a successful vacation.Big mistake.I should have known there was no way this trip could go by without a hitch. Honestly, I should have beenwaitingfor something to go wrong, because inevitably, something always did.

I went downstairs to find Charlie struggling to get Olivia’s shoes on her. “Seriously?” she groaned when Olivia pulled her foot away just as she was trying to fasten the Velcro buckle.

I heard what sounded like a rip and then the shoe flew across the room. I rubbed Charlie’s arm as I walked past her. “I’ll fight Olivia and you can start working on the other two.”

When I picked up the shoe, I realized what the ripping sound was. The buckle had ripped off the shoe enough that it would be impossible to get them to stay on her anymore. I held the shoe in the air. “We had a casualty. I’ll have to get another pair.”

“I’ll do it,” Mrs. Miller said, hopping from the couch as if it was on fire.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? They’re on the floor of the closet in our bedroom.”

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