Page 6 of A Very Miller-Cooper Life

“I wish I lived closer so I could babysit for you.” My mom held Olivia tight up against her chest and smiled. “I take my payment in snuggles.”

“I wish you did too, Mom.”

I always loved living in New York, but since the triplets were born, I realized how hard it was to not have any family around. This really would be so much easier if we lived closer to my mom and dad. I couldn’t shake this thought from my head over the next month. I tried to forget about it and be happy where we were, but the pull to move only became stronger. With my job, I could live anywhere. The problem was Charlie. She had her own practice here—a practice she had always dreamed about owning. There’s no way I could ask her to give that up.

It turned out, I didn’t have to. One night as we lay in bed together, Charlie stared at me while she absentmindedly ran a finger along my arm, that light touch still sending chills throughout my body. “I’ve been thinking. I know this is going to sound completely crazy, so you can obviously say no. But how would you feel about moving? As in, out of New York.”

“Moving?” I asked as if the word was foreign and the thought didn’t cross my mind approximately five million times a day.

“Yeah.” Charlie sat up in bed and chewed on her nail. “I realize it won’t happen anytime soon. We would need to sell the business and find a house and figure out a million other things I’m sure, but I’ve been thinking about this a lot since your mom left and was wondering how you felt about moving back to your hometown? Or at least somewhere nearby.”

“Wait. Are you serious?” I had to make sure Charlie hadn’t somehow read my mind and was only offering this because she knew I wanted it. “But you love your practice. You worked so hard to set it up.”

Charlie shrugged. “I did it once, which means I can do it again. Plus, I could use a break from running a business. I’ll work at a corporate optometry office when we first move. That way, I can take a break from being in charge and also make a shit ton of money, since those places pay their doctors crazy amounts.”

“You’ve thought about this…”

Charlie nodded. “Every single day since your mom left.”

“Can I be honest?” I laughed and pointed a finger at my own chest. “So have I.”

Charlie’s eyes went wide at my confession. “You have?”

“Yes. I didn’t say anything because it felt selfish to even suggest it. There was no way I was going to ask you to leaveeverything behind just because I wanted extra hands to help around the house.”

Charlie took my hands in hers and squeezed. “I wouldn’t be leaving everything behind. You and our children are my everything. A job is just a job. I want to do what’s best for our family.”

“And you’re sure this is what’s best?”

“Do you disagree?”

“No. Not at all. This is what I want. I just wanted to make sure it’s actually what you want.”

“Itis, so please stop overthinking it.”

“I guess we’re moving, huh?” I asked with a giggle, unable to hold in my giddiness.

“We’re moving,” Charlie repeated as she wiggled around beside me, clearly just as excited.

***

It took almost a year for us to sort everything out and finally move, but it was more than worth it. At least, I assumed it would be. With help from my parents and Charlie’s nana, we were able to afford the down payment on a two-story, four-bedroom house that was only a five-minute drive from my parents’ house. My mom was helping to watch the kids five days a week, but since I decided to quit my job when we moved, we were going to be there together in the beginning. Since my job was remote, I didn’t have to leave, but I figured this was the chance for a completely fresh start. I liked the company I worked for, but knew I didn’t want to stay there forever.

The only problem was that now I didn’t knowwhatI wanted to do next. Since Charlie got an amazing offer from a corporate optometry chain, we had some time to figure it out, but after a few weeks with no prospects, I could tell Charlie’s patience was beginning to wear a little thin. It didn’t help thather new job paid so well because they expected her to do more than was humanly possible.

After another month, I found a company I could do advertising for remotely, but quickly realized I wasn’t passionate about it. I stuck with it for a few weeks, but even with my mom’s help, trying to work a job I didn’t like while also having three kids who were now mobile was exhausting. To make matters worse, the longer Charlie worked this new job, the worse her mood seemed to get.

The honeymoon phase of our new house quickly wore off, and I started to wish we had stayed in New York. Sure, it was harder to take care of the kids while we were there, and it was nice getting so much more time with my parents, but it felt like Charlie was slipping away from me.

“Dinner is ready,” I told Charlie after she came home late from a long day at work.

Charlie threw herself onto the couch and squeezed her eyes shut. “And how is the job hunt going?”

I cringed, because I could already feel a lecture coming. “Still just doing a few per diem things while I figure out what I want to do next.”

“The‘figuring it out’ part seems to be taking you quite awhile.”

My cringe turned into a grimace. It was starting to feel like Charlie didn’t appreciate everything I was doing for our family. I had tried to keep my cool since I knew work was stressful for her, but I was at the end of my rope. “Yeah, well, it’s a little hard when I’m home withthree kidsevery day.”

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