Page 43 of A Very Miller-Cooper Life

My mom and I left early in the morning, so we could meet my Aunt Patty for a late lunch. The restaurant we met at was a small seafood restaurant that had excellent reviews. As soon as we walked inside, I could tell the reviews hadn’t lied. It smelled excellent, so I had to assume the food tasted just as good.

“Charlie?”

I turned around to the sound of my aunt’s voice and found her by the entrance looking completely shell-shocked. When my mom’s eyes met hers, she wore the exact same expression. With both of them standing motionless as if they didn’t know this reunion was taking place, there was no questionthat they were sisters. Their blonde hair was styled differently and my mom was a bit more stout than my Aunt Patty, but everything else about them was exactly the same.

“Sharon.” Aunt Patty laughed and shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re standing in front of me. I never thought this would actually happen.

My mom held her arms around her body as if she was trying to protect herself from my aunt. “We saw each other at James’s wedding a few years ago.”

My aunt took a tentative step closer to us. “I know, and that was great, but when I never heard from you again after it, I assumed you still wanted nothing to do with me.”

My mom opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, the host interrupted. “Are you ladies ready to be seated?”

“Of course,” I said right away since I was pretty sure the other two women with me weren’t going to answer him.

“Great.” The host gave me an awkward smile as if he could sense the tension between them.

But then again, who couldn’t? If tension was fire, this whole town would be up in flames.

The host grabbed three menus then waved his hand at us. “Follow me.”

Once we were sitting, it seemed like the very small baby steps we had made by the door had completely vanished and we were back to square one. I cleared my throat and looked at my mom. “Mom, I think you have a lot you want to say, so why don’t you start?”

“Okay.” My mom brought her hands onto the table and kept her eyes on them as her fingers fidgeted with each other. “I’m not sure where to start or how to put everything I’m feeling into words, so please bear with me.”

Aunt Patty reached across the table and put a hand on top of Mom’s. “Of course. Take your time.”

My mom took a deep breath and blew it out. “First of all, I want you to know I’ve missed you. And even though I spent years convincing myself that I hated you, I never really did. You’re my sister and I’ll always love you no matter what.”

“I’ll always love you no matter what too. I always have.”

“When everything happened… back when I was a teenager… I didn’t understand. All I knew was that my big sister—my best friend—had left without looking back because she had decided that she liked other girls.”

My Aunt Patty shook her head. “It wasn’t like that at all. I didn’t want to leave. With the way Mom and Dad were treating me, I didn’t feel like I had any other choice.”

“Also, Mom, she didn’t decide to like girls. Please try your best to stay away from those deeply ingrained homophobic beliefs.”

“Oh… I… I didn’t mean it that way, I guess. When you spoke about your preference.” My mom looked at me. “Is that better?”

“Yes.”Minimally, but I’ll give it to you since you’re clearly trying.

“I’m still trying to make sense of how a woman could fall for another woman, but I feel like I’ve made progress. Charlotte might disagree, but I am trying.”

“I can tell you are.” Aunt Patty nodded at me. “You raised an amazing daughter by the way.”

“I don’t know how much I had to do with that, but thank you. She really is wonderful.”

As pathetic as it was, I had to blink back my tears. I think that was the first time my mom complimented me just for being myself. The compliments I received from her growing up camewhen I was doing the things she wanted me to do, not when I was being true to myself.

“Anyway,” my mom’s hands were still pinned down by Aunt Patty’s so she began wiggling in her seat instead. “I guess I don’t know the whole story of what happened around the time you moved away. Do you think you could share it with me?”

Aunt Patty nodded, her face becoming solemn. It was clear how hard it was for her to relive that time. Still, she did it. She told my mom about the year of conversion therapy her parents put her through. She explained how they made her feel like a stranger in her own house. She let my mom know how badly she wanted to confide in her, but their parents had sworn her to secrecy. With no one to turn to, it got to be too much, and the only choice was to leave.

“My intention was never to leave you,” my aunt explained. “It just so happened that they explained everything to you before I could, and by the time I talked to you, they had already convinced you that I was a monster.”

My aunt removed her hand from my mother’s, then rooted through her purse and grabbed a tissue that she dabbed on her eyes. “Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.”

“I… I didn't know any of that. They painted a completely different picture.”

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