Page 41 of A Very Miller-Cooper Life

My mom still didn’t open the envelope. She simply shoved it inside the apron she was wearing. “I guess I’ll read this at some point over the next year.”

“Wait. What?”No. No. No. I’ve been waiting too long for this.

“Oh, come on, Charlotte, it’s clearly not that important if she waited a whole year to get it to me. What difference does it make if I read it now or wait until some other time?”

The difference isI’vebeen waiting, and I’m desperate to find out what that letter says.“It’s Nana. This is a part of her. You need to read it.”

“And I will, Charlotte. Just not right now.” My mom pointed her thumb down the hallway.. “I have some fresh cookies in the kitchen if you want any. Why don’t you come sit down rather than standing by the door all day?”

I shook my head.What a disappointment.“We’ll be back later. We need to get back to Jamie’s house to make sure the kids get ready in time.”

Before my mother could say anything else, I turned on my heels and opened the door. Once I was in the car, I slapped the steering wheel. “All that waiting and wondering for nothing. Now we’ll never know what the letter says.”

“Who knows. Maybe she’s just saying that and she’s going to read it as soon as we leave.”

“Maybe, but if that’s the case, I highly doubt she’s going to let me see it.”’

By the time we got back to my parent’s house, I had given up all hope of ever seeing that letter, but as soon as we walked inside, my mother asked if she could speak to me privately.I agreed and followed her upstairs where she led me to her bedroom and closed the door behind us.

“I want you to read the note your nana wrote to me and tell me what you think.”

I didn’t know what was crazier—the fact that my mom was willing to show me the note or the fact that she wantedmyopinion on it. But I definitely wasn’t going to give up this opportunity. “Oh? Really? I didn’t even think you were going to read it today.”

My mom let out a long sigh. “Your father talked me into it. Or, I guess I should say he guilted me into it.” Without another word, she shoved the letter into my hands.

I immediately started to read it because I worried she would suddenly change her mind and take it back from me.

Sharon,

I know I’ve always been hard on you (I’m not apologizing, it was well deserved), but now that I’m gone, I’d like to offer you some grandmotherly advice. Get your head out of your ass. You have a sister out there that you refuse to talk to even though you know damn well that she did nothing wrong. Since I’m not a cunt, I had the pleasure of speaking to Patricia at Charlie and Jamie’s weddings. I know you’ll probably say youalsotalked to her at Jamie’s wedding, but one stiff hug and a promise to call (that you didn’t keep) doesn’t count. Anyway, she is a very nice woman, and as much as it pains me to say this, you deserve to have a relationship with someone in your immediate family. From the limited amount of information I’ve gathered, it’s come to my attention that your parents were really shitty people, so I guess it makes sense that you turned out the way you did. But there’s still hope for you, because I know deep down you’re not actually the person you pretend to be. I can’t believe I’m writing this after everything I’ve seen you do, but you’re a good person(deep down… like very deeply buried where no one could ever find it, but I know it’s there). You’ve made some really awful decisions (Okay. Many really awful decisions), but there’s still time for you to make this right.

Take it from someone who doesn’t have much time left (and by the time you’re reading this, it means that time has already run out)—you don’t want to end your life with any regrets. I know that’s going to be nearly impossible since you skipped your own daughter’s wedding and missed out on years and years of having a relationship with your sister, but you can’t go backward, only forward. And it’s time for you to finally become the woman I know that you wish you could be. You put on a good front, but it’s killing you to be the person that you are. You might not think I ever noticed that since I never really liked you very much, but I did. I see everything, even the good in you.

I’ve watched you grow a lot over the past few years, but you still have a lot more growing to do. I’m only going to write this once, but I hope you take it seriously, because believe it or not, I actually mean it (at least, I think so. I’m practically dead. Maybe I’ve become senile). I’m proud of you. You’re working on getting rid of the prejudices that were ingrained in you by your parents (who were emotionally abusive assholes by the way. Just in case no one has ever told you). It’s taking a while, but I know you’ll get there. I know you’ll eventually become the person I can be proud to call family.

Please think about what I said. If you’re considering not taking my advice andfinallymending your relationship with your sister, remember that this was my dying wish. Are you really going to ignore a woman who has been dead for a year? You better not because I swear to god I’ll haunt your ass.

I love you (yes, believe it or not, it’s true) and I really do want what’s best for you. Don’t waste anymore time. There will come a day when you don’t have any.

Grandma Olivia

(or “Nana” as the most important people in my life call me)

The note was so very Nana that it actually felt like she was standing in that room with me. I didn’t know whether to smile or cry, but my body decided to do both.

My mom rubbed my arm. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to make you emotional. I just…” My mom looked toward the ground and for the first time in a really long time, I swore I saw a human there. “I want to know what you think I should do.”

Why is she asking me this? “I think Nana was very clear in this letter about what you need to do.”

Honestly, I had no idea why my mom hadn’t reached out to my Aunt Patty yet. It had been years since I first developed a relationship with her, and I had seen her multiple times since then. The only time my mom saw her was at Jamie’s wedding, and as Nana’s note pointed out, she barely even talked to her.

“Do you really think she’ll haunt me?” my mom asked as if that was actually the important part of the letter.

“Honestly, probably. But even if she doesn’t, she’s still right. Aunt Patty is awesome, Mom. She’s awesomeandstill willing to give you a chance after all this time. You’ve refused to have a relationship with her for over forty years and she still hasn’t given up on you. That’s pretty amazing if you ask me.”

“I don’t know, Charlotte.” My mom rubbed her hand over her forehead. “I don’t harbor any hard feelings toward my sister anymore, but it’s just been so long. I don’t even know if we’d have anything in common.”

“You’re sisters. I’m sure you’ll find something.” I took my mom’s hand and squeezed it tightly until she finally looked at me. “You’ll never know unless you try. You should just call her.”

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