Page 36 of A Very Miller-Cooper Life

Just as I suspected, Nana huffed. “I’m starving. I’ll see him later.”

Think fast.It felt like a lightbulb went off above my head when the perfect idea suddenly materialized in my mind. “We can wait I guess, but he told me he got some wine for the event that he thinks you’ll really like. If we wait to see him, it will probably be gone by the time we do. That’s okay though. If food is more important than w—”

“Never mind. Let’s go.” Nana had her seatbelt unbuckled and her car door open before I had even processed the fact that my plan had actually worked.

When I turned off my car, all three kids started to giggle. I turned around and put my finger up to my lips. “Sh. Don’t give it away now.”

I helped the three of them out of the car then watched as they sprinted right past Nana, only coming to a stop when they got to the front of the building. I took Nana’s arm, ignoring her huff of disapproval. When we reached the door, Carter held it open while I walked through with Nana. I almost tripped when Ronan and Olivia pushed past me to go in first. As expected, the lights were out and the room was dark when we walked in.

“Are you sure they’re here? The lights aren’t even on.”

I tried (and failed) not to smile as I opened the second set of doors and hit the lights. As soon as the lights went on all of the guests screamed, “Surprise,” in unison.

“Is this… what… for me?” Nana turned to me and there were already tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, which was big since I could probably count the amount of times I saw her cry on one hand.

My heart felt more full than it ever had as this woman who had become so important to me stared at me with all the wonder in the world. “Happy Birthday, Nana.”

We were joined at the door by the rest of her immediate family, who all wished her happy birthday with tight hugs. The majority of the party was family, but other people who spent time with Nana throughout the years were also there, including her hair dresser, a few of her doctors, the cashier whose line she always went in at the grocery store, and even her favorite waitress from Applebee’s.

Nana was so excited about the surprise that she was even more wild than usual throughout the day. She roasted pretty much every person in attendance and drank more wine than an almost hundred-year-old probably should. I wasn’t too worried since the doctors in attendance didn’t seem concerned, but then again, they were drinking just as much as her.

By the end of the party, it was just the Miller clan remaining, which felt strange since I hadn’t been around the whole family since Charlie’s mom made a scene with my engagement ring. Luckily, Nana wasn’t the only one who had been drinking so it wasn’t as awkward as I would have expected it to be.

If I was being honest, I was actually having fun. I laughed when I looked at Jamie and saw him counting on his fingers. “What are you up to over there, Mr. Mathematician?”

“I’m just trying to figure out how we have a great great grandma who is only one hundred.”

“Only?” I asked with a laugh. Surely Jamie wasn’t so drunk that he thought that was young.

“Considering that we’re thirty-eight, yes.” He looked over at his parents, determination etched on his face. “Mom and Dad, how old are you?”

“That really doesn’t matter,” his dad said, his face turning slightly red as if he was embarrassed to say his age for some reason.

“Oh, for god’s sake.” Nana spilled wine on her shirt when she threw her hands in the air. “Your father is sixty-one.”

Jamie looked toward the ceiling and counted on his fingers again. “That’s only a thirty-nine year difference between you and him and he’s not even your oldest grandchild.” I still didn’t know what he was getting at until his eyes went wide and he pointed an accusatory finger at his nana. “Nana, did you get knocked up?”

Nana laughed and spilled even more of her wine on her shirt. “Why would you assume it was me who got knocked up? That would have given my mother a heart attack. Luckily, I was a cool mom. Didn’t throw a big fit when your grandfather knocked someone up as a teenager. Your great-grandfather on the other hand… he thought it was a disgrace. And he instilled that same shame on your grandfather and his children, which is why no one in this family ever talks about it. One of the only things me and my husband ever fought over.”

“Wait, are you saying—” I cut myself off because I couldn’t wrap my head around this. The“perfect”Miller family got less and less perfect all the time.

“Yep.” Nana pointed across the room at Charlie and Jamie’s Uncle Shane. “My grandson is a bastard, and I’m not just talking about his personality.”

I spit out my drink from laughing so hard. I loved Nana for saying exactly how she felt, especially about people I wasn’t so fond of.

Unfortunately, he was too far away to hear, but he did notice her pointing and pointed his own finger at himself. “Me?” He shouted across the room. “What are you saying about me?”

I smiled because I knew Nana wouldn’t let this opportunity pass, and I was right. “I said you’re a bastard,” she shouted back. “In more ways than one.”

Uncle Shane’s face turned such a bright shade of red that I could see it from across the room. He grimaced and opened his mouth (most likely about to be an asshole), but quickly shut it again.

That’s right, bitch. Don’t even think about being mean to my girl.

Carter, who had been sitting on Charlie’s lap, crawled into mine and tapped Nana’s shoulder. When Nana looked over, Carter tilted her head at her. “What’s a bastard?”

Mrs. Miller scoffed. “It’s a word wedon’tsay.”

Nana scoffed right back at her. “She can say whatever she wants to say as long as she’s not an asshole likesome people.” The smile returned to Nana’s face as she focused her attention on Carter. “A bastard is someone who is born to two parents who aren’t married. It can also be a name for someone who is mean.”

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