Page 13 of Monster's Secret Baby

"I said one afternoon." My silver eyes meet his dark ones. "I'll meet her. Have some tea. But I'm not binding anyone. That's all this is."

It should at least buy me some time. I know it'll go nowhere, though, because there's only one girl for me. And that's Harmony.

I pacethe riverbank like a caged animal. The smooth river stones slide and click beneath my boots, wet from the tide that rises steadily against the shore. This is where I first kissed her. Where I first felt the world crack open and realign around something softer, warmer than ambition.

My wings drag behind me, tips brushing the damp earth. I don't care if they get dirty. Let the pristine feathers gather mud. Let them become as tarnished as I feel.

Three nights ago, I laid Harmony down right here, under these same stars. They seem colder tonight, more distant. The memory of her skin against mine burns through me—her fingers tangling in my hair, her breath catching when I touched her. The way she looked at me like I was something precious, not just valuable.

"Fuck," I mutter, kicking a stone into the water. It hits with a pathetic plop that doesn't match the storm inside me.

I drop to a boulder at the water's edge, head in my hands. The conversation with Sior replays in my mind, each word a new wound. The Praexa are watching. The Council is watching. Silver wings. Legacy. Bloodlines. Every word a chain tightening around my throat.

How did I let him gain so much power over me? When did my art become secondary to what I represent?

A night bird calls out across the water, and for an instant, I imagine Harmony's voice. Little bird, I call her, teasing her about her small, quick movements. She'd thrown a fistful of dirt at me the first time I said it, laughing.

"Would you still laugh if you knew what they want from me?" I ask the empty night. "If you knew they were trying to take me from you?"

I've seen the sideways glances, the whispers behind delicate hands when we walk together. A human girl. A servant. How quaint, they think. How rebellious of the great artist. A phase, nothing more.

But it's her face I see when I close my eyes at night. Her voice that cuts through the noise in my head. When did that happen? When did this soft-spoken gardener with dirt under her fingernails become more essential to me than breathing?

I stand again, unable to stay still. My wings flex and shudder with restless energy.

"They'll destroy you," I whisper, and it's unclear even to me if I mean Sior will destroy her, or if New Solas society will. Or if I will, eventually, with all my sharp edges and impossible ambitions.

I stop at the exact spot where we made love. The ground looks the same as anywhere else along the bank, but I know this patch of earth. I could find it blindfolded. I kneel, pressing my palm to the cool dirt.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask no one. "What if I can't protect you from them?"

The darkness that's been coiling in my stomach all evening tightens, cold and heavy. Not just anger at Sior's manipulations, but fear. Real, bone-deep fear that makes my wings tremble.

I close my eyes, seeing again the barely concealed disgust on the faces of the upper circles when I walk with Harmony in public. The veiled threats in their polite questions. How curious, that a xaphan of your standing would spend time with... staff.

"They would eat you alive," I murmur, opening my eyes to watch the river flow, implacable and constant despite my inner turmoil. "And I'd have to watch."

What if I'm selfish for keeping her? What if her life would be simpler, safer without me in it? The thought comes unbidden, and once there, refuses to leave. It plants itself like a poisoned seed.

"They'll never accept you," I say to Harmony's ghost. "You'll always be less to them. And they'll punish you for it."

Is loving her worth what it would cost her? That's the question I can't answer, the one that keeps me pacing this riverbank like a man possessed.

I drag my hands through my short white-blond hair, gripping it at the roots as though physical pain might distract from the emotional. It doesn't.

"What if letting you go is the only way to keep you safe?"

The words taste like ash on my tongue. But the seed is there now, taking root in fertile ground—doubt, fear, and the terrible knowledge of what New Solas does to those who defy its invisible rules.

7

HARMONY

Ikneel in the soft earth by the west archway, my fingertips caressing the delicate petals of the late-blooming aracin flowers. Their vibrant purple and orange hues catch the afternoon sunlight, reminding me of paintings I've glimpsed in Lord Arkan's private collection. I hum an old tune from the human commune—something about rivers and waiting lovers—as I prune away the dying blooms.

"You're looking quite healthy today," I murmur to a particularly vibrant cluster. "Strong enough to survive the first frost, I think."

The garden has become my sanctuary here at Arkan's estate. The flowers don't care that I'm human, don't look through me like I'm invisible. Unlike most of the xaphan servants, who barely acknowledge my existence.

---