Marcella sighed as she cleaned the table. She knew he had never hurt Betina, so why did her daughter want to leave? Hernando was a hard man, but had been good to them. He was the reason they could afford the little house they lived in. Kept them in clothes. After Betina’s father had died when she was only three, Marcella worked long hours to take care of her daughter, but life had been hard. When Hernando had moved to the neighborhood, it was hard not to notice the charismatic man. Surprised to be the one to catch his eye, she was thrilled when he moved in. He’d made it clear that he was not interested in marriage but she would take whatever he was willing to give as long as he helped to take care of Betina. And if he strayed? She had heard the whispers that she was not the only one he took to bed. As long as he helped them out financially, she could put up with a lot. Pursing lips as she finished wiping off the counters she glanced into the den, seeing Hernando watching a game on the TV. She could not wait until Betina was home tomorrow, but had to talk to her daughter. She could not take a chance on Betina’s behavior costing them Hernando’s protection.
13
Tony drove to the north side of the city, pulling to the front of a small house next to the river. The house sat up on a hill and as his gaze roamed over the area he smiled, letting the familiarity settle over him.
The door, unlocked as usual, opened easily as he let himself in.
“Dad?” he called, walking into the living room seeing the older man sitting in a recliner in front of the TV.
“Son? I didn’t know you were coming for a visit,” his father answered, as he moved out of his chair. Standing, he embraced Tony before moving to the kitchen to grab another beer. “Sit yourself down,” he said as he walked back into the room.
Tony settled onto the worn sofa, twisting the cap off of the beer as his father sat back in his recliner. The two men drank their beers in silence for a few minutes, both knowing the words would come when the time was right. Tony’s gaze moved from the TV to his father, still in good health and looking very much like an older version of himself. Tall, with now graying hair but the same brown eyes.Alvarez Eyeshis mother always said.
After another moment, his father lifted the remote turning the sound down. “You ready to talk, son?”
Smiling, Tony knew that his dad was fully aware that he had not just dropped by. “You always could read me, couldn’t you?” he said.
“It’s what parents do,” came the easy answer, then a quick look of sorrow crossed his father’s face. “I’m sorry, son,” he apologized.
The slicing pain that Tony expected from any comment about parents and children did not come. A dull ache was in his heart, but he just sighed, saying, “It’s okay, dad. I can’t resent others being parents just because that was taken from me.”
A silence ensued once more, this one slightly less comfortable. Rubbing his hand over his face, Tony blurted, “I’ve found someone dad.”
His father’s sharp eyes cut over to Tony’s face. When no other statement came forward, he prompted, “And…?”
“I’ve already fucked it up.”
“This woman like you too?”
Tony leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees, hanging his head. “Yeah.”
“Then I’d say you haven’t really fucked anything up too badly that can’t be repaired, son.”
“I never thought I’d find someone after Marla. I sure as hell wasn’t looking,” he said shaking his head.
“You’re a young man, Tony. You had love once, but no reason to think you can’t have it again. Your mother, God rest her soul, would be singing from the rafters to know you had found a woman again.”
Tony thought of his mom who passed away two years earlier after a long battle with cancer. His dad was right…his mom would have wanted him to be happy, but at the time all he could do was grieve. For her…for Sofia…for Marla. Death had stalked him, or so it seemed. Rubbing his hand over his face again, he turned toward his dad once again.
“I met her a year ago on a rescue mission. Name’s Sherrie. She’s smart, worked hard to make something of her life from a shit beginning. I looked into those scared blue eyes, and felt something, dad, that I hadn’t been prepared for.”
His father chuckled while nodding. “Yeah, it can hit you like that.” Sobering after a moment, he asked, “So what’s the problem?”
“I…I spent so much time after Marla and Sofia died thinking that that was it for me. I’d loved. I’d become a father. And I lost it all. One phone call and it was all gone. I wasn’t prepared to ever…feel again.”
“You been dating this Sherrie for a year?”
“Nah. I’ve been fighting my attraction to her for a year. We just hooked up recently.”
“And….”
“I finally decided that I couldn’t fight it anymore. Even though being with her felt great, at first I felt guilty, like I was cheating or something. But I went for it anyway, and I think she knew that. Then I had the craziest dream.” Tony looked at his dad wondering what he thought about all of this.
Plunging ahead, he told his father about the dream where Marla told him to be happy with Sherrie. “But I must have said her name in my sleep and Sherrie heard, so she left. She thinks I won’t be able to love her.”
“Did you explain? Did you tell her what you’re feeling?” his dad asked, concern etching his face.
“No. I just let her walk away.”