Page 36 of Tony

Grabbing her hand, he turned and said, “Come on.” Gently pulling her along with him, they stepped amongst the headstones making their way to another section of the cemetery.

She wanted to ask where they were going, but was too afraid to ask. Too afraid the tears would start again. Too afraid.

Tony noticed her stumbling behind him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, tucking her safely into his side, noticing her arms stayed around her body and not around him. Arriving at their destination he stopped, facing a double headstone.

Sherrie looked down, wondering why they had stopped. Until she read the words.

Marla Renee Alvarez Beloved wife and mother

Sofia Carlotta Alvarez Beloved daughter and Angel

Oh my God.Tears stung the back of her eyes once again, as she choked back a sob.

“Sherrie?” he asked gently. “Do you understand why I brought you here?”

“I know you loved. And lost.”

He brought his hands to her face once again, cupping her frozen cheeks in his warmth forcing her to look at him. “Yes baby, I loved and I lost. It ripped my heart out and I never thought anything could ever make me happy again. And I was good with that.”

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” she whispered, another tear sliding down her cheek across his fingers.

“Sherrie, until you, I was ready to just exist. Just be glad I had that kind of love for a little while. But now…baby, don’t you get it?”

Her gaze narrowed in confusion as she tried to decipher what he meant.

Sighing, he continued. “I don’t wanna just exist anymore. You make me want to...feel again.”

Turning with her in his embrace toward the tombstone, he looked down at the familiar words.The strange ache was no longer coursing through his veins. Thinking back to his dream, he realized that Marla had given him permission to live again.

“Tony?” came the small voice beside him.

He looked down at her large, blue eyes, still filled with pain.

“What are you saying?” she asked.

“You called yourself a replacement a few minutes ago. Babe, I have no idea what made you think that. You’re no one’s replacement.”

“Last night,” she stuttered, then cleared her throat. “You wanted her.”

Tony reared back, his hands sliding from her cheeks to her shoulders.What the hell is she talking about?Forcing himself to be calm, he took a deep breath. “I still have no idea what you are talking about.”

Wrapping her arms around her middle again, girding herself she said, “You may have been lying with me but it was her name that you called in the middle of the night.” Embarrassed, she stepped back. “I don’t blame you, I really don’t. You love her. She was your wife, the mother of your child. She was the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life. It’s just…I can’t compete with that and…” Steeling herself, she gazed directly into his eyes. “I don’t want to compete and always feel lacking.”

Turning, she began the walk back toward her car, making her way through the cemetery as tears streamed down her cheeks. Part of her wanted him to run after her. Follow her. Chase her down and tell her she was wrong.I won’t look back.Passing by Charisse’s gravesite, she glanced down.No more looking back.

* * *

Tony stood absolutely still watching Sherrie walk away. Heart pounding. Mind reeling.What just happened? I called out Marla’s name?His mind flew back over the dream he had the previous night. The one where Marla let him go.Shit! I must have said her name out loud and Sherrie heard.

Looking up he saw her car pulling away from the cemetery. He wanted to run after her. Chase her down and explain, but he did not move. His eyes shifted back down to the marble headstone, finding the familiar ache of loss had intensified.I’m such a fuckup, Marla. How do I make this right?His gaze drifted over to Sofia’s name and his mind jumped to how he would feel as a father if someone she loved had hurt her and did not try to make it right.I’d pound the shit out of the guy that ever hurt my baby.

Heaving a determined sigh, he stalked over to his truck.Time to stop living in the past. Time to make this right.

* * *

Sherrie walked into her kitchen reaching for the coffee, needing the fortification. Her phone chimed as a message came in and she saw Betina’s name on the screen.

Can you come see me?

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