Page 15 of Tony

Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he shook his head. “No, my problem was that I didn’twantto like you.”

He saw the look of confusion cross her beautiful face, and he struggled for the right words again. “There are things in my past…things that…well, made me not want to feel again. So, whenever I saw you, I tried to force myself to not think about you. Stay away from you. I figured I was too fucked-up for you, anyway.

“When you leaned into me when we found Charisse, as bad as that was for you…it felt right to me. You being in my arms. Leaning on me. Trusting in me. That felt right. I made a dumbass comment to Matt and Shane that I know you overheard and when I realized you had gone, I knew I hurt you. When you pushed me away after the funeral, I figured that I needed to stay away.

“But when Jennifer called, I didn’t over-think for once. I knew this was the place I wanted to be. I wanted to make sure you were safe. I wanted to be here in case you needed something. Or needed me. But what happened there?” he nodded toward the wall behind her. “That should have never happened. Not like that.”

Silence filled the room except for the crackling of the logs burning in the fireplace. Licking her lips, she pondered his words.Such a contradiction, I hardly know what to think. He acted like he didn’t like me, but he does. So, what now? Just friends? Or more?

He watched her pink tongue moisten her lips and it was all he could do to not lean over and capture them, but he refused to lose control once again. He lifted his gaze to her eyes and once again saw uncertainty.

“I’m still fuckin’ this up, aren’t I?”

“I want to understand, Tony. Please help me understand why it was a mistake. Is it because you just want to be friends? Because you don’twantto want me?”

“Sherrie, you were a virgin. You should have had your first time in a bed with candlelight and someone taking their time to make sure you were ready and then have them go slow and easy.”

He focused on her eyes, cupping her face with his free hand, feeling the soft skin against his rough. “I wanted you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. I’m used to controlling everything about myself but one look at you, standing in your pajamas arguing with me had me lose control. I just went on emotion and took you against the wall.”

She lifted her hand as well and caressed his cheek, trusting the caramel eyes that had captured her a year ago.

“In a bed or up against a wall…I’ve wanted you,” she said.

“Can I ask you something really personal?”

“Tony, I think we’re way into something personal already,” she grinned.

“How is it that you are…were still a virgin? I mean someone like you?”

At that, the humor left her face and he wondered what he had said wrong.

“Someone like me?” she asked, pulling back from him. “What do you mean, Tony? A poor girl from the foster system? Or a cocktail waitress in a strip joint? Or just because my sister was a?—”

“No,” he interjected. “No, none of that. I just meant… you know. Someone as beautiful as you. I can’t imagine that you haven’t had men dying to meet you.”

“Oh,” she said softly, her eyes going misty. “I guess, I was just holding out for a hero. And then I found him.”

“Baby, I’m no hero,” he admitted, a flash of regret passing through his eyes.

“You are to me,” she whispered.

Leaning in, he kissed her softly, promising himself to maintain control. Just then the water began to boil over and they both leapt up as he jogged into the kitchen. Turning down the stove eye, he placed the pasta in to cook. Looking over his shoulder at her standing at the kitchen entrance, he said, “I didn’t know when you might come out but I fixed some dinner.”

“It smells good,” she admitted, watching him pull the chicken out of the oven. Deciding that their serious talk was over for now and she could rest easy knowing they were friends, she found the plates and set the table. Several minutes later, they sat to dinner in companionable silence and he opened one of the bottles of wine she brought.

Eying the other bottles, he lifted his eyebrow at her in question. She could not help but giggle as she said, “I thought I might drown my sorrows in wine while I was here alone.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re not alone to drink all of this,” he quipped.

“Me too,” she added seriously.

Finishing their meal, she offered to clean up since he cooked. Tony stepped outside on the porch to see how the storm was progressing. While out, he made a quick call to Gabe to report that they had both made it and would be in touch when they could, knowing that Gabe would let the others know. His men were like that—all of one mind. Finding more wood piled on the corner of the porch, he brought several loads inside.

Kneeling as he placed more wood into the fire, he could feel her presence behind him. He saw her standing near the sofa, fingers nervously twisting the bottom of her sweatshirt.Hell, I’ve talked more to her in the past hour than I have to anyone in a year…and there’s still so much more to say.Turning back to the fire as the new wood began to catch with flames, he replaced the antique fire screen.

Standing, he faced her, knowing that she was still unsure of what his feelings were.

“What’s it like outside?” she asked quietly, as though trying to find something to say.

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