Page 8 of Moose

I shook my head and stood back up. Javier got up and looked at my bags.

“Don’t do this, baby. We’re a team. A fucking great team who’s going all the way to the top!”

“I’m tired. I can’t do this anymore.”

I looked up to see his brown eyes filled with sadness. Javier was never one to show emotions, so for him to be begging me meant a lot... but I just couldn’t do it anymore.

“I’m done, J. I’ll leave so you don’t have to move.”

“Baby, I love you. Don’t leave. Please!”

Tears flowed down my face as I packed more of my things.

“We don’t know what love is. We’re broken kids, J. Broken fucking kids in a fucked up world. We should be in college, not here running a fucking drug cartel! Is this the life you want? You want to bring kids into this world?”

Javier screamed as he punched the wall next to him. I didn’t even flinch as he flipped furniture and tore apart the bedroom, but never came close to me.

Javier may be a ruthless man like my father, but he would never lay a hand on me.

I finished packing and turned to him. He was sitting on the bed, staring at me. Walking in between his legs, I lifted his face so I could look into his eyes.

“It’s better this way. Come with me... we can run together.”

He ripped away from me and stared at the wall.

“No. The Southside boys are my life, baby.”

“I’m so sorry, J.”

I leaned down and kissed him, then grabbed my bags and left. Getting in my car, I drove to a local motel and checked in for the night. This was my chance to start a new life away from my previous life.

Myshittyapartmentandshitty jobs barely cut it. Some days I thought about going back, but then talked myself out of it. Living in poverty was better than always looking over my shoulder.

I couldn’t live in that danger anymore. Despite the ache in my heart that yearned for that thrill, I couldn’t do it any longer.

I lived in a tiny studio apartment and worked odd jobs just to make it. Waitress, housekeeper, shelf stocker, dog walker. You name it; I did it. And to keep myself going, I turned to the same pills I always swore I would never touch.

Yeah, I had done quite a few drugs in my life. Everybody did in the circle I grew up in. But this was different. I needed them to live. I needed them to get up in the morning.

One morning, while I was getting ready for my next job, there was a knock on my door. I peeked through the peephole to see a man standing there in a suit.

I grabbed my gun and slowly opened the door, not taking the chain lock off.

“Can I help you?”

The man smiled, “Are you Lilith-”

I opened the door and pulled him inside.

“Shhh. What do you want?”

“You’ve turned twenty-one today.”

I eyed the man curiously, “Yeah... get to the fucking point.”

He laughed and handed me an envelope.

“From your grandmother. In her will, once you turned twenty-one you would be privy to your account.”

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