Page 5 of Hawk

The cabbie nodded and took off into traffic. I had to cave and move ahead early with my backup money plans. After strategically moving funds on my phone, I sold off the last of my stocks. By the time we arrived, I had enough money to buy a motorcycle.

I had followed in my father’s footsteps, going into the medical field. But now I had nothing. My family had disowned me after everything. I only had myself now; only myself to disappoint. So why not start by getting a fucking death machine.

Growing up, I was always told that thugs and lowlifes ride motorcycles. Well, I was a fucking lowlife, according to them, so why not live up to that image?

Three hours later, I packed the few things I had brought with me into the saddlebags of my brand-new Road King Special. The beautiful black bike sat waiting for me to open it on the road.

I didn’t know where I was going, but was excited at the idea of escaping into the world. A world where nobody knew my name, nobody knew my family, a world where nobody knew my fucked up story.

I revved the engine and tore out of the parking lot. The wind blew in my face and I laughed. I fuckinglaughedas I flew down the road. I couldn’t remember the last time I actually laughed. I had been so busy trying to impress those fucking snobs I had lost who I truly was. The things I had done, the people I associated with, it was all what my family had wanted.

It was my time to do whatever the fuck I wanted without a fucking care in the world. I needed to get away from this state, get away from the dirty looks, the news stories, all of it. I couldn’t fucking breath in the city with all those people knowing what I did. I needed to just lose myself on the road. I was going to either find a new fucking life or die trying.It’s not like I had anything to lose.

Heading to upstate New York was my first stop, and it all went downhill from there, despite my new positive outlook. I rode through random towns, drank myself to oblivion, and then I would ride around until I found a seedy motel to crash for the night.

I caught a few DUIs, but never let that slow me down since I didn’t give a fuck about much anymore. I continued to drive and do whatever the fuck I wanted. Everything I had was gone, so it’s not like I had anything to lose. I was going to live my fucking life on my terms and if I died, then I fucking died. Riding, living free, and not giving a fuck; that was my new motto. I was free as a fucking bird, going wherever I wanted, not being tied down to responsibilities.

Every stop I made; I added a new tattoo to my growing collection. I also added new women to my life at all the bars I would swing through; promising them a good fucking time, but no strings attached.

I never stayed more than a night anywhere. None of those women were the one, and I never treated them like it. At this point in my life, I wasn’t looking for any type of attachment. The women I bedded knew the deal from the beginning and would agree; we would fuck then be done. No snuggles, no staying the night, no pillow talk bullshit. Actually, my preference was not talking at all, period. They were good for one thing and one thing only: a good hard fuck. When we were done, they all walked out my door with a smile on their faces, that’s for damn sure.

When alcohol and women didn’t soothe the ache, I turned to pills. I needed to find that one thing that would numb everything. I just didn’t want to feel anymore. That first time I got high was when my life started to really hit rock bottom. I tried chasing that first high every day but never could reach it. I turned to stealing and scamming to get money for the drugs.

Not wanting to stay in one place, I moved across state lines. I rode through Pennsylvania and Ohio before catching another DUI charge, but this time in Indiana.

Jail there fucking sucked, but it only lasted two months. As soon as they let me out, I rode straight to Iowa. Things during those days were a little blurry. Shit went sideways, leading me to more fucking time in jail, but this time for aggravated assault and drugs.

I was a fucking wreck and had no plans to stop. To be honest, I didn’t want to, nor did I care. I was too deep to see any type of light at the end of the tunnel. My body craved the drugs and alcohol. I needed them to function at this point. I was one of those people I had looked down on. Living in the city, I saw plenty of homeless people and addicts. I would laugh and throw my spare change at them, always thinking I was better than them. But now I saw that anybody could hit rock bottom. It didn’t matter where you came from or who you knew. Addiction didn’t discriminate. Life had a funny way of fucking with you. Karma was the devil’s way of laughing in your face.

At some point in my travels, I somehow ended up in Montana and stopped at a little dive bar. It was full of motorcycle memorabilia and men in leather cuts. I stayed away from them as I walked over to the bar.

Starting off with a shot of tequila, I drank that down, then grabbed a beer. The music was loud, and I was already feeling good.

Heading to the bathroom, I closed the door and locked it. I quickly snorted some pills, then headed back out. The high was a quick rush as I grabbed another shot of tequila and walked around the bar.

A pretty little brunette was at the end of the bar and shyly looked up and smiled. I ran my fingers through my hair and made my way over.Tonight was going to be my lucky night; looked like there were easy pickings at this shithole.

“Hey there, beautiful. How you doin’ tonight?”

She softly laughed, playing with her half-empty beer bottle as she looked up at me.

“Oh, I’m not too bad. You’re not from around these parts, are you?”

I shook my head and leaned in closer to her.

“New York, babe. You come here alone?”

Suddenly, there was a large hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a big burly man in a flannel shirt behind me.

“She’s with me, asshole. Hands off my woman.”

I rolled my neck and put my beer down.

“You left her alone, and she was making eyes at me. Looks to me like she’s not your woman, buddy.”

The man growled and stepped closer to me.

“She’s fucking mine. Now get lost.”

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