“Ground yourself, babe. Three things. I want you to look around you and name three things you see.”
I looked around, then back at him. “You, Willow’s painting, and my boots.”
“Good job, baby. Now name three sounds you hear.”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. “Traffic, a bird, and your breathing.”
He laughed and stroked my hair. “Alright, last one. Move three parts of your body.”
I opened my eyes and wiggled my fingers, then raised my arms up in the air, then finally stretched my legs out.
Joker smiled and pulled me into him. “Grounding works wonders. Anytime you feel like you’re losing control, try that. Now, let’s talk about what happened. How are you feeling?”
“I hurt. Everywhere. But especially my heart.”
I cried again as Joker rubbed my back.
“Can I get you to the Medical Center? How far along were you?”
I just nodded my head as he lifted me and brought me to my car. “Five weeks. Doctor Tickner knows about the baby. Goose doesn’t and I plan to keep it that way.”
Joker just nodded as he drove me to the Medical Center. We snuck in the back as I called Doc. He met us and brought us up to a private room where nobody would see me.
Doctor Tickner examined me, then left the room silently while I cried on Joker’s shoulder. When the coast was clear, he brought me out and back to my home.
I stayed in bed and drank my life away while I mourned my baby. I couldn’t turn to anybody except Joker. He came to check on me daily and made me eat and shower. If it wasn’t for him, I would have drank myself away.
Nobody wanted me anyway, so it’s not like they would miss me. I was the disposable friend. The woman nobody wanted. Used up trailer trash.
I wanted to just fucking die, but Joker stayed by my side and brought me back to life. I flourished again and made a promise to myself to do better. No more playing games with Goose. I was going to be my own woman with my best friend, Joker, by my side.
––––––––
ILOOK UP TO SEE LILAHcrying. She jumps and wraps her arms around me tightly.
“I’m so fucking sorry! I should have been there. I’ve been a horrible friend.”
“It’s okay. I hid it pretty well from everybody. I just didn’t want to start any drama in your family. But look at me causing drama now.”
We’re hugging tight when Willow walks over and wraps her arms around the two of us.
“Fuck. I heard everything. I’m sorry, girl.”
“It’s okay. Really. I was in a dark place and didn’t turn to my friends when I should have. I’m just lucky Joker had my back.”
We all hug again and cry. Right then, I know how lucky I am to have these wonderful women to call my friends; my sisters. I need to stop being stubborn and turn to them when I’m in need.
The three of us pull apart and start to finish cooking the large dinner and dessert. I’m making salad, I stop and put the knife down.
“Do you think they’ll find Olivia?”
Lilah looks up at me, “Of course. And they’ll desecrate the Shadow Raiders for threatening and hurting us.”
I shake my head. “Something just seems off about it, and I can’t put my finger on it.”
Willow shrugs. “That’s what they want. Look at what happened with me...”
She reaches down to pet her dog, Orion, and I can tell she’s grounding herself. Willow still has a hard time with the PTSD of what the Shadow Raiders did to her.