Page 46 of Goose

“Thanks, man. She’s asleep, just a shell of a person. Glad the kids are in good hands with you and Bambi. Check-in tomorrow.”

We both lean back and I try to hold back the tears. I finish my beer and climb out of Goose’s arms.

“I’m going to bed. Long day, you know...”

He nods and turns off the T.V. “I’ll come too, babe.”

We walk up the stairs and quietly check on all three kids before going into the guest bedroom.

I grab a pair of Lilah’s pajamas to borrow for the night and slip into them. Goose strips down to just his boxers and hops in bed.

I turn the lights off and pull the blanket back. Goose opens his arms and I climb in to snuggle up with him.

Thoughts of last night race through my head. We have so much to talk about, but none of it seemed as important as the matters at hand. I sigh as I try to close my eyes.

Goose sits up and plays with my hair. “You gonna tell me what’s going on in this pretty little head?”

“Nope.”

“Baby, come on.”

I shake my head and pull away from him. “I don’t want to talk about it, Goose. Today has been a fucking day from hell. I just want to go to sleep.”

Crying comes from down the hallway and I climb out of bed to grab Scarlett. Goose is right behind me, and I can hear the boys getting up now.

It’s going to be a long fucking night...

I go into Scarlett’s room and scoop her out of bed. “I got you, beautiful.”

She sniffles and buries her face into my hair. I stroke her back as I walk back to the guest room and climb into bed.

Goose comes back in a few seconds later with Colton and Knox in his arms. The boys climb into the huge bed and lay down on either side of their sister.

I smile as I wrap my arm around Knox and Scarlett. Goose lies on the other side and wraps his arm around Colton and Scarlett, intertwining his fingers with mine.

Having everybody in the bed with us makes me feel safe and complete. Being here at Lilah and Striker’s ranch makes me feel untouchable.

There is so much security around here, and I know Mav is only a few minutes away. Striker stops at nothing to protect his family.

I close my eyes and slowly fall asleep.I’m safe and everything is going to be okay.

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THE EARLY MORNING LIGHTand sounds of the rooster wake me up. Looking around, I see that all three kids are laying on top of Goose.

I smile and carefully get out of bed. This is all I want in my life, but I know I’ll never have it.

Happy endings aren’t possible for me. Nobody wants me for a wife, and Goose makes that clear time and time again.

I’m not made for somebody’s Old Lady, and the one person I want forever doesn’t have plans for us in the future.

I hated that these dark thoughts invaded my brain at the worst times...

Walking down the stairs, I make myself a cup of coffee and walk out to sit on the big farmer’s porch. I find a beautiful quilt Mama Crawford has made and wrap it around myself as I climb on the big bench swing.

I take a sip of coffee and think about the day Sawyer Crawford broke my heart and tore apart all my dreams...

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