Page 34 of Cookbooks and Demons

Helena blinked. “Why?”

“Because it isn’t going to last,” he barked, backing away looking more sad and angry than afraid.

“Shh!” Helena shushed urgently. “Keep your voice down. We’re not the only people in the store.”

He obeyed, but it did nothing to slow down the urgency of the words coming out of him. “None of this is going to last, and then in two weeks it’ll be over, and I’ll be back there in a place where nobody is kind. Don’t you understand?” He paced, lifting his hands up but at a loss as to what to do with them. “Don’t you understand—this is worse. This makes it far, far worse, to feel someone be kind to me, knowing it’ll end forever, and I can’t take it with me. They’ll rip it from me, given the chance. Or, even worse, I’ll do something stupid and sell it off because a memory of kindness… You have no idea what that is worth there.” He continued pacing like an animal as he spoke, so clearlyin pain.

Helena didn’t flinch away. Instead, she cornered him. His back was to the wall before he realized she was there, and he tried to flinch back as she reached out her hands. “No, don’t! Don’t, please,” he begged, his voice pitching down into a whisper as he pleaded. “Don’t do this to me.”

But she didn’t stop. She knew she needed to keep going as she wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him down into a hug. “It’s okay,” she whispered.

He could only resist a second more before he collapsed into her, his face buried into her neck, his arms wrapping around her and holding on like she was a life preserver in a vast,dark sea.

He didn’t cry, but he shuddered and she just held on until it passed.

“You’re right. I can’t stop you from having to go back,” she confirmed. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “I did this to me.”

“Listen to me, Rafferty.” She licked her lips. “You’re right. I don’t know you really. I mean, I don’t know what you’ve done. I don’t need to. But I can’t be anything other than who I am. I just want to be kind to you, and I know you’ve had too little of it. I like you, Raffie.”

His head shook a little as if he couldn’t accept that statement as true. “Why?”he asked.

“I don’t know, Ijust do—”

“No, why do you keep calling me that nickname?”he asked.

She pulled away then, to look up into his face, which had become blotchy. “Because I’m yourfriend. You don’t have to be mine, but I am yours, Raffie. And friends give each other nicknames,”she said.

Now a tear did slip down his face, even though he tried to hold it still as a stone mask. “I don’t deserve you,” hewhispered.

She shrugged. “This isn’t about deserving. If good memories are currency in hell, then, let’s go make you the richest demon in all seven levels of it while you’re here,” she said, offering him her smile.

He made an effort to return it. “You are so beautiful, Helena. Hellie,” he tried. Then he wrinkled his nose. “It doesn’t soundthe same.”

“It’s fine. I like it,” she said. “Hellie andRaffie.”

“Hello, knock knock, how’s it going in there?” Honey called from the other side ofthe door.

Helena took a step back to give them some breathing space. She turned toward the door. “Good, really good. I think we’ll takethe suit.”

“Do you mind if I take a peek? I was guessing with the pants,” Honeyoffered.

“Is it alright?” Helena asked him. He nodded and she unlatchedthe door.

Honey came in, holding a shoebox. Her eyes zeroed in on the cuff of his pants. “Oh, I told you, I’m good. That is going to fit just right once we get you into the right shoes.” She held up the box. “Wanna see if I’m three for three?”

“Yes,” Rafferty said, adjusting the tie around his neck before adding a belated. “Thank you.”

Honey paused a moment, beaming at him, as if his thank you really hit her in the heart. “You are so welcome,” she said softly. “I just love my job, making people look good. It makes a body feel valued, you know whatI mean?”

She knelt down before him to open the shoe box, pulling out a slick black dress shoe with a square toe. “Now, these are a little on the pricey side, but they will last you forever and are built like a sneaker inside, so really comfortable. And if you buy them with the whole suit I should be able to swing you a nicediscount.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it,” Helena agreed. This was going to hit her in the pocketbook, but it was worth it. “We’ll definitely take the whole thing.”

“Helen—Hellie,” Rafferty started to object, but she touched his upper arm with her fingertips and hequieted.

“My treat,” she assured him. “It’llbe fine.”

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