Page 43 of The Malevolent Eight

He came over and threw an arm around my shoulder. ‘But okay, if I’m being honest here– and you know what a sentimental soul I am– even I find it tragic that instead of popping out of the girl’s womb– gross way to give birth, by the way; eggs are so much more civilised– the poor kid slips into a breach and is born trapped in a realm full of Pandas.’

He removed his arm and poked me in the chest. ‘Especially tragic for you Mortals, because I’m pretty sure that nutty Spellslinger chick is going to destroy this place long before my bosses or the Lords Celestine do the job. Honestly, everyone would’ve been so much better off if the Lords Devilish had just let me recruit her to our side when she escaped the Glorians, but no, they just let her slip through their claws. You know what? She spent nine years trying to break through to the Pandoral realm and rescue her kid, but never even came close. Ironic, right? All that power of hers and it’s only good for wrecking things.’

I could see he was working up to the big reveal.

‘Which is why, a few months ago, someone did finally recruit her, promising they’d bring the kid over to the Mortal realm.

‘So, who are these mysterious benefactors, you ask? Ah, I do love that look on your face, Cade: so eager, so angry– kind of like a puppy who can’t figure out how come he’s the runt of the litter. Well, it gets worse, Buttercup, because the guys who recruited the Spellslinger are the fucking Pandas themselves.

At my look, he clarified, ‘Well, okay, to be more precise, it’s the cult of morons who recently rose up around the only Panda existing on this plane of reality.’

Oh, fuck me– or rather, fuck all of us. . .

‘That’s right, Cade: the big bad who’s manipulating those dumb fucks in the Lords Celestine and others’ – I wasn’t sure how subtle he thought he was being when referring to his own bosses– ‘to make this war even worse than what you’ve been imagining so adorably since beginning your own crusade against it? Yep: it’s the guyyouallowed to escape!’

Shit, fuckety-fuck-fuck, prick, bastard, shit, I thought coherently.That damned Pandoral—

It had never even occurred to me that both the Lords Celestine and Devilish would have left the Pandoral being to wander the Mortal realm unimpeded while they completed their own invasion. I should have known better, of course; neither side would want to risk any of their own forces– and certainly not their own precious selves– attacking a powerful adversary, because that would have given the advantage straight to their enemies.

‘The Pandoral?’ Galass asked. ‘Cade, we never even tried to pursue it!’

Everyone was staring at me like I was to blame for this mess, which was at least partially true. ‘You will serve,’ had been pretty much its only words to us– wasn’t that a big clue that leaving it to the damned Celestines and Devilish to sort out would come back to bite us in the arse? Why had I never tried to hunt down that damned bipedal bug swarm?

Because you convinced yourself the Infernals and Aurorals were the bigger threat, I reminded myself.Because, when it comes down to it, your hatred of them blinds you to everything else.

Tenebris looked delighted by the distress I was obviously failing to keep from my expression. ‘Yep, you screwed the pooch on this one, pal. Since the Pandoral’s home realm is collapsing and he doesn’t have the forces to subjugate this one, his new plan is to use the Spellslinger to speed up the Mortal realm’s eventual doom, so all that raw ecclesiasm released by imploding an entire plane of reality will be channelled through a gate back into the Pandoral realm, preventing its collapse while leaving this place’– he glanced around as if he could see through the cathedral’s scarlet walls to the entire world beyond, where there wasn’t much worth saving– ‘well, let’s just say, you probably should’ve finished the fucking job and killed the Pandoral before it wandered off and gathered a lunatic doomsday cult around itself.’ Tenebris held up a hand as if to forestall the obvious counter-argument. ‘Sure, sure, a sentience composed of thousands of indestructible buzzing insects might look tough, but maybe if you and your band of merry morons weren’t such puss—’

An Infernal quieting spell is a kind of lesser binding that requires a smidgen less esoteric energy than one binding limbs. Tenebris, being a cheap bastard, hadn’t bothered with that, of course, which was why I was able to deck the smug little prick right in his three-slitted nose. I don’t usually recommend punching diabolics in the face, not least because their internal bone structure is thicker and stronger than ours, to support those idiotic horns.

Totallyworth it.

‘Ow!Damn it, Cade! I was just starting to like you again!’ Tenebris complained, noisily popping the bones back into place.

My brief descent into discourteous violence wasn’t entirely impulsive. Tenebris had confirmed that the Lords Devilish had information we needed. His feeble attempt to goad me was just a typical diabolic’s ruse to get me to reveal anything I might know without them having to pay for it. Now that we’d been through the forms, it was time to get down to business.

In the case of Infernals, this means a pact. This particular pact turned out to be less egregious than most. You might even call it amicable.

The pact began with. . .

Chapter 22

Be Ye Damned for All Eternity

Ye who would violate this pact, who would foreswear oaths uttered, heardand agreed this day on this hour upon this soil. Despair, weep, wail and know that clemency, like mercy or a swift death, lies forever out of reach of any who break this bond. Abandon all hope, save that thou shouldest, by fate or fortune, fulfil every article and clause herein inscribed upon this parchment in blood, upon thy spirit with the ecclesiaster of thine soul, and upon the very fabric of the Mortal realm in the eternal ink of Destiny itself.

Be it known that this pact has been forged between the Thirteen Perfections atop the Great Hierarchy of the Infernal Realm, hereafter referred to as ‘the Lords Devilish’, rightful inheritors of all that is, was and shall ever be, and the six feeble wonderists accompanied by a filthy beast of unknown origin, possibly some sort of large deformed rabbit, the assemblage of which shall hereafter be referred to as ‘the Malevolent Seven’.

Article I: The Gift

(i)Greatest among weapons is knowledge, and deadliest of all are secrets. In requesting such secrets as are possessed by the Lords Devilish as of the moment of the signing of this pact, the Malevolent Seven acknowledge their ignorance and impotence.

(ii)Generosity being one of the many virtues of which the Lords Devilish are the highest exemplars, their Infernal Majesties shall impart theirsecret knowledge of the mage calling herself the Spellslinger, who with ease and malice did defeat the entirety of the Malevolent Seven in a manner most amusing.

(iii)No assurances are given that said knowledge will, in fact, ensure the demise of the Spellslinger or the prevention of the destruction of the Mortal Realm by the Pandoral being as this would require the Malevolent Seven to be far more effective in their endeavours than has been demonstrated thus far.

(iv)This magnificent gift is granted freely and without any recompense of significance, save for one trifling act of gratitude, this being:

Article II: The Auroral Banner

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