Page 48 of Fate of the Argosi

‘Hey, you okay?’ she asked.

I smiled as I walked over to hug her. ‘Just relieved that I didn’t have to rescue you again.’

She pulled away. ‘Rescueme?’ Her grin widened as she held up the disharmony card I’d painted of her. ‘I only came back to return this stupid debt card of yours. See, my next heist is going to be my greatest ever.’

‘Yeah?’

She planted her fists on her hips, turned her head to the side and struck a heroic pose. ‘Like the intrepid princes of those sappy old Daroman shield romances, I’ve come to rescue me a damsel in distress!’

Please don’t do this, Arissa. Please don’t make it worse than it has to be.

I gestured to our opulent surroundings. ‘I don’t see no giant trolls or evil dukes guarding this here dungeon. Who is it you reckon I need rescuing from?’

‘Well, there are those ex-marshals outside your door. But mostly .?.?.’ Arissa leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. ‘I’m here to save you from yourself, stupid.’

She wasn’t here to save either of us, though. Arissa just hadn’t figured out yet that freedom and farewell are the same word.

28

Freedom and Farewell

Everybody’s got their own way of saying goodbye. Maybe it ends with a tearful expression of bittersweet sorrow followed by a proclamation equal parts romantic and tragic: ‘You were the best friend I ever had,’ or ‘So long as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, I’ll never feel about another the way I feel about you.’

Rebellious denials work for some. ‘I refuse to say goodbye. Mark my words, we’ll be together again sooner than you think!’

Disappearing in the middle of the night is always a classic.It’stoo hard to say goodbye,they’re telling you, as if their silence were a mark of how much you meant to them.

Enna once told me that all goodbyes are performances, scripted as surely as any stage play, measured against how many tears the audience sheds once the curtain comes down. Pretty cynical for someone as loving as her, I’d thought, but she explained that the hardest things in life demand to be performed before they unfold. Rituals prepare our minds and bodies so they don’t collapse in on themselves when the heart breaks.

‘Weeping, hugging, raging against the universe. It’s all part of arta forteize, Ferius. We make ourselves resilient to loss by enacting it before it happens.’

Sage advice. Unless, of course, your particular choice of ritual farewell leans towards violence.

‘Time to go, Rat Girl,’ Arissa said, grabbing hold of my pack and slinging it over her shoulder. She’d never carried my stuff before; this was the first step in showing me I didn’t have a choice. ‘You, too, Conch,’ she told the spire goat as if this whole operation were being handled by the two of them. ‘I’ve found us a way out of this monstrosity of a fortress. We’ll need to knock out a few of Colfax’s guards, but I was planning on stealing me a couple of them Gitabrian fire lances as souvenirs anyway.’

‘Sure,’ I said, not yet ready to play my part. I lifted Conch off the bed and set the sleepy-eyed goat on his hoofs. ‘Where we headed after that?’

‘I’m thinking north to the Zhuban territories. I’m not fond of the weather up there, but the Zhuban are reputed to be the most skilled astronomers on the continent. They import the finest glass from Berabesq and brass from Gitabria to make these telescopes that can make you feel like you’re walking on the moon any time you look through them.’

She walked over to the large cameo spyhole and opened it back up, shoving her own pack through the gap first before sliding mine off her shoulder. I guessed my time was up.

‘You figure the moon’s far enough away?’ I asked.

Arissa hadn’t looked at me since she’d started this little farce. She didn’t do so now either. ‘Don’t make me do this, Ferius.’

Don’t make me do this.That wasn’t the right line. I needed her to say,‘Don’t do this.’Three words, not five. Those other two? They were going to be trouble.

‘I have to see this through, Arissa. The Mahdek don’t trust the Jan’Tep worth a damn. The Jan’Tep can’t trust them either, and Chedran, hells, he’d have the entire Mahdek–Jan’Tep wars start all over again if he had his way. I’m the only one who can stop that from happening.’

She was still staring off into the darkness beyond the cameo opening. ‘Think pretty highly of yourself these days, I’ve noticed.’

‘Ala’tris trusts me, and the rest of her coven will follow her lead. Kievan and the other Mahdek teenagers will listen to me because I never let the doom and gloom of our elders hold me back. Chedran adores those kids, so he won’t act up on the voyage if I’m around to keep him in check. Stoika and the council need him because he’s their best bet for killing the Jan’Tep mages if they try anything funny. That whole spellship will blow up like a powder keg before it even sets sail unless I’m there to keep the peace.’

Arissa’s next words were so quiet, spoken into the black depths of her intended escape route, that I barely made them out. ‘They’re going to ruin you, Ferius.’

‘I can handle them. Stoika. Chedran. I’m tougher than they think. Tougher than you seem to believe.’

Conch gave one of his little snorts.

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